Keep Getting Back Up!

For all my inner fighting and minor victories, I was KO'd by another 1.8 lbs over the course of the last week.

I'm pissed.

I ate a poached egg and a toasted english muffin at Mae's instead of one of their cheesy, delicious looking omelets thinking I was doing so well.
I'm sure the giant forkful of Nutella stuffed crepes didn't help the cause, but I remain pissed nonetheless.

I retaliated (against who?) last night and ate a cheesy, baconey, chicken club with french fries at Bob Evan's... and immediately felt sick and nauseated.

I'm back to writing everything down again, but I refuse to be happy about it! :)

It's very easy for me to get off track when I pretend there isn't a track at all... weird.

This week I am writing down every bite, taste, pinch, spoon and bit of food that I eat and using the Weight Watchers system to a T...

There is no quitting, there's no giving up, there's no lying down in the face of a fight. Goal #1 is still in the works and I will achieve it.

10lbs total and/or 5% down by next week. That's a 2.2 - 4.2 lb goal.

Wish me willpower!

I Choo- Choo- Choose You!

Valentine’s Day. Sigh :) … My amazing and thoughtful boyfriend got me roses and chocolates and took me out to dinner at Katana (Hibachi) in Royal Oak. I had the first true Valentine of my life and had a great time celebrating a corporate, Hallmark holiday that was originally a giant pagan orgy, but that the church replaced with an homage to a saint (in the style of nixing the pagan winter solstice festivals and putting Jesus’ birthday in its place)... Anyway, this year’s corporate, Hallmark, former pagan orgy, now homage to a saint was well celebrated and I was extremely blessed to spend it with Bryan.

On to the topic of the weight loss (kinda the theme of this blog, so I guess it must be mentioned). My mission to lose a mere 0.2 lbs last week was thwarted by dinners out, pizza and enjoying the aforementioned chocolates. I came out less scathed than I thought I would and have a gain of only… 0.2 lbs on record at Weight Watchers. My new mission is to lose at least 0.4 lbs by next Tuesday’s meeting so I can get that shiny blue ribbon announcing the news of a 10 lb weight loss! I am also fairly close to my 5% goal and would like to receive both honors that night, but I’ll be focusing mainly on the baby steps right now.

I do like that WWs new program encourages it’s members to be “normal” with their eating. Not necessarily the normal that got us to be overweight, but the normal that goes out to eat, doesn’t feel starvation, deprivation, or an overabundance of want, want, WANT!!! The normal that has a small piece of birthday cake and doesn’t feel the need to take the rest of it and chow down when no one is watching (because the calories don’t count if no one sees you eating, right?)

On that note, I am experiencing a lot of old cravings and habits trying to climb back into my daily routine. I’m fighting with my inner eater nearly every time I get in the car. Here’s a sample of the conversations I have in my head:

Eater Mel: I want a cheeseburger
Determined Mel: No, you can have a black bean burger for dinner.

EM: I want McDonald’s Breakfast… I’ll be extra good with lunch and dinner!
DM: No you won’t, you’re going to want garbage for lunch and you’ll make yourself sick.

EM: I need some veggies from the grocery store to make salads tonight… and I need some taquitos, and some cheese dip, and some Potato Skins!!!
DM: NOOOOOOOOO!
EM: Ok… then… how about… chicken nuggets?
DM: …
EM: Fries?
DM: …
EM: Nachos Supreme?
DM: … No.
EM: I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT!!!

EM is about 6 years old, I think… aaaaaaand now I feel crazy.

I’m in need of support and prayers to get over this first hurdle. Thanks for whatever positive reinforcement you can offer.

Until next time…

What a Bunch of Dum Dums...

I was going to call this post "Ya'll can suck it" because it's hilarious, but I didn't want ya'll to think I meant ya'll... I mean them all... the'all?

The people I work with have been enjoying an assortment of Dum Dums brand lollipops provided by yours truly. There are a couple people that never said boo to me before that now stop by my desk a couple times a day for a sugar dose and to chat. I find it interesting and kinda weird. It’s a good thing there are no chocolate flavored Dum Dums or I’d be in trouble with calories...

As it stands, I officially lost 2.8 more lbs and am cruising right along!!!

I’m amazed at how little time I have even though I’m only working 40 hours/week (no overtime) and have 3 less credit hours this semester than the last. I haven’t been to the chiropractor in months and I’m really feeling, in my mid-back, that it’s time to make it happen.

Speaking of school, I hate Algebra. It’s the devil. My cruddy start to this class has only slightly effected my health goals... usually I’d turn to greasy fried things for comfort for my woes of feeling stupid because I can't remember how write an equation to find the slope of a line, but light popcorn has been a perfect food consolation so far. Studying and being better prepared will certainly replace mindless munching on even such a light snack. My boyfriend is going to help me get it in gear starting Friday with a study session to reinforce the foundation of Algebra!

Overall, I'm healthier everyday, happier everyday, and glad that I started this journey (over) when I did. I'm 9.8 lbs lighter today than I was on December 28th 2010 and I'm very excited to see, and feel, the difference as I continue toward my goal of 100lbs in one year.

Speed Bumps & You

I gained weight!!! Oh my gosh!!! I gained 0.6lbs according to Weight Watchers… (and lost 0.2 according to the challenge weigh in, it’s on the same night as WW… hm…)

I realize it’s a tiny amount to gain, but it’s also a missed opportunity to lose my 1-2 lbs/week so it’s worth serious consideration. I did, however, enjoy every minute of gaining weight this week as I had an Italian Feast on Saturday for some friends and we all left feeling well fed on pasta, Cesar salad, olives, sausage, breaded steak, chicken parmesan and cannoli!. I could attribute the small gain (rather than a huge one) to the fact that a sudden flu knocked me on my butt from Sunday morning through Tuesday night. Fever and body aches really take the appetite right out of a girl. I will say that I feel lucky to have only gained 0.6lbs… but I do need to kick it into high gear soon because I am trailing my boyfriend in the challenge and I want to win!!!

I’m grateful for the job I have because it allows me structure to make sure I’m getting my liquids in and I have accountability here to keep me away from the vending machines and a huge fridge to store my salads and healthy snacks…

Oh! Yoga!!! Did I mention yoga is a bazillion times harder than it looks? We learned to stand, sit, do table pose, and downward facing dog… all of it was really a workout (albeit a sweat-less one) but down-dog was sooooooo freaking hard! Especially going from table to down-dog… my toes do NOT bend backward. I’m told it gets easier, but that was by people that aren’t trying to balance 235lbs on their teeny tiny hands and feet… I’m sticking with it, mainly for the PE credit, but I probably will not continue to take it if I don’t actually get better (stronger) by the end of the semester.

Good week all-in-all, even counting being so sick I couldn’t sleep. I feel so much better today and am hopeful that tonight’s yoga class will leave me with a sense of accomplishment and growth.

See you all next week.

Drink up!

Howdy folks!

I lost 4 lbs according to my weigh in at Weight Watchers last night!!! Woooo Hoooo!!!

My weekly target is 1.5 to 2 lbs and as of last night I am averaging 2.5 lbs/week!
The new program they have is inexplicably better than any program I have tried. I feel like I can eat anything I want (in moderation, of course) and I have enough points to play around with "regular" ingredients for meals... no fat free cheese for me! (it's disgusting, btw)

I'm not sure if it's the dry weather or the new health kick talking but I've been super thirsty for the last couple weeks... and I already drink a LOT of water. On program they want you to shoot for 6 glasses/day, but I've been doing 8 mandatory glasses of water or unsweetened tea before 5pm and then guzzling down another 2-4 glasses each night. Either way, it seems to be helping out the whole goal thing.

The challenge is going well as a result of my WW success, though boyfriend is beating the crap out of me and all other contenders. He's down below 190 and I'm really impressed... good job you jerk! :)

Yoga officially starts tomorrow night, as the first class was just talking about the semester ahead... I'm very excited to see what it can do for me mentally and physically.

All in all I am positive, persevering and pumped!

Starting Over From Scratch

It's been over a year since I began my first attempt at my year long 100 pound challenge. I did not achieve my goal. I added 20lbs to the cause...

What else is there to do but START OVER?

That's right, I'm starting over... I'm not giving up the fight... The 100lbs in a year challenge is on!

I actually started the challenge on 12/28/10, but realized that it'd be a good idea to update the blog so I have a reference to go back to as I go along.

So far:

I started at 242lbs on 12/28/10

I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/4/11 at 239.2lbs
That's a loss of 2.8lbs!!!
I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/11/11 at 238.4lbs
That's another 0.8lbs!!!

I am following the Weight Watcher's PointsPlus program and taking a weekly yoga class (for school credit) as well as walking and doing pilates whenever possible.

I'm also, independently, competing with my boyfriend and his dad, sister and best friend for a cash prize of $300 for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight in 12 weeks, so that's a big kick in the pants as well.

With God, my family, loved ones, and new found will on my side, by 12/30/2011, I will weigh 140lbs.

Keep checking back as I update at least once a week with my progress!!!

Day Whatever.... Redo

FYI, I quit, started, quit, started and quit again...

I'm not going to make my goal by January 4th 2011.

It's unhealthy to lose more than 1-2lbs/week and pretty much impossible to lose 4lbs/week over 6 months.

Anyway... Screw it... I got winded and dizzy from climbing the stairs at the ball park yesterday and I hate it.

New goal:

I'm going to be healthier on January 4th, 2011 than I am now.

Starting at 215 (I kept 3lbs off since January); I'm going for weighing under 170 within the next 6 months. Minimum 45lbs total; just under 2lbs/week.

Food plan:
Weight Watchers points program; observing good health guidelines

Activity plan:
Alternate Pilates and Cross Training videos
Spend one or two days a week doing cardio at the gym.
and for an extra little kick, I'll use my bicycle as my primary mode of transportation around my neighborhood (school, church, grocery store, chiropractor)

Support plan:
Regardless of the possibility of failure and shame (ha!); I'm going to tell everyone I know that I am working on this goal and ask for moral support and accountability. So, that means you! :)

Truth to dispel potential excuses:

It's not ok for me to have popcorn for dinner

My chiropractor said I only have to take it easy with workouts for the first two weeks while he fixes a few spine things, but said I can still do low impact stuff like riding my bike or pilates.

There's no such thing as a free day, though a free meal every couple weeks is supposed to help boost metabolism.

Bread is a major weakness and I have to closely monitor my intake.

And most importantly, with the exception of the tragedy of a break-up or the celebration of my birth...
BBQ Chicken Nachos are forbidden.

Thank you for observing my rant.

I look forward to proving to myself that I can complete something worthwhile. :)

Day 44: 40 Days of Sweating

Today is Fat Tuesday, so I'm pretending calories don't exist and just not stressing out today. As of this morning I'm back down to 213 (yay!) and in need of a better short term goal (834 calories/day? What was I thinking???)

Tomorrow I'm beginning a 40 Day intensive challenge to get below 200lbs by the end of Lent. I'm not catholic, but it's as good a time as any to give up sweets and junk food and to put focus on activity.

The plan includes:

• Working out every morning at the gym (They open at 6am!)
• Going to the gym after work if my whiny, lazy inner child won't let me wake up early enough
• Following a balanced meal plan (kinda like weight watchers)
• Counting the calories in everything I eat
• Weighing every Sunday and measuring on 2/17, 3/10 and 3/28
• Drinking a ton of water and only 1 beer or glass of wine/week
• Avoiding sugar and fatty meats like the plague and limiting my bread intake
• Updating my blog daily, like the good old days

I've been feeling really discouraged lately and giving up the fight on a daily basis and it would be super helpful if everyone that reads this would send me notes of encouragement throughout this endeavor.

Thanks in advance for all of your support!

Day 5: Getting Full

Yesterday was great...
I had 3 clementines for breakfast and was full. I was too busy and not at all hungry at lunch time. For dinner I chopped and roasted two medium red skin potatoes with a little bit of olive oil and a Tuscan seasoning blend I had. It was satisfying and delicious. I'm getting fuller on less food. I think this means my stomach is shrinking back to normal size. I like it!

If it weren't for the smell of the potatoes roasting in my toaster oven, I don't know that I could have made it through making the creamy chicken and pasta casserole for the warming center without grabbing a few "tastes". The casserole smelled really good too, but I was super careful not to lick my fingers or the spoons.

I only know one way to be sure that pasta is cooked, though... and I bit into one of the penne tubes with my front teeth and spit the bite out into the garbage. I'm serious about this challenge and I don't want to get the carb train rolling out of the station just yet.

The mental craving cycle is beginning to break. Yesterday was full of thoughts of Doritos. At the grocery store, while buying the ingredients for the casserole, I noticed how much the low nutrient/high fat foods are marketed over healthier, tastier options. It makes me mad because, even though the choice to by is ultimately mine, I feel preyed upon by large companies selling bags of garbage to fatten their wallets and us. I wonder if weight loss companies are connected to the food makers somehow. It wouldn't shock me if Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig paid for Frito Lay's advertising.

Today is more of the same; Phase one of the Daniel Fast (fruits and veggies only) and tons of water. So far I'm 1,543 calories under my weekly budget of 7,700 and feeling good. Tonight's physical activity is giving haircuts to the homeless folks at the warming center... it's tougher than you think. :)

Day 1: Bravery Required

This is the first full day of my endeavor to lose 100 Lbs by January 3rd 2011.

I am a 30 year old female, 5'2", 218 Lbs. I have been overweight since the age of 13.

My lowest weight in the last 5 years is 192, my highest is 230.

I have tried Weight Watchers, Adkins Diet & Sadkhin Complex and have tried suplemental programs like Alli, Metabolife & Equinox. I gave vegetarianism, veganism & raw foods a whirl and even went a month on nothing but prepackaged foods. As for exercize; there have been countless work out sessions and hours spent on tread mills and elliptical machines with no understanding of what it was even doing for my body. To be perfectly honest I had to have spell check help me out with spelling exercize. My plan is to shake things up with my metabolism. I wnat to take the consistent advice of a few different gurus and mix it with the science of calories in vs. calories out and see what happens. I will update daily with what nutritional method I used and which workout I did and describe hunger, energy, dificulty and what I'm feeling. I will also update every Monday evening with my weight and measurements.

The Food Plan:
Detox by fasting for 1 day
Kick start the calorie reduction by only eating fruits and vegetables for 19 days
Stick to a balanced menu of 1300 calories/day for the remaining days.

The Action Plan:
Sundays, Cross train at the gym 1-4
Mondays, Video: Pilates Basic, 20 min
Tuesdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min
Wednesdays, Video: Pilates Buns & Thighs, 20 min
Thursdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min
Fridays, Video: Pilates Abs, 20 min
Saturdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min