Spanning Time

I have been very tired lately, like all of the time. I'm tired now. I could sleep the entire day and still feel like I need to lie down. I am sure this mystery can be solved by some regular activity... I did give a mini-strength training work-out a try last night and it was mad hard to get up off the floor after sit-ups, but it felt good... On that note, however:
I'm going to get some Months under my belt... I'm reading old posts today about how I've gone __ days since I started, cheated, started again on my fitness goals. I'm not talking about my progress on this site again until I have some Months to talk about. Until then... We dance!

Since my tech savvy-ness is too tired to figure out how to post one, just imagine a funny animated meme of a cat dancing.

I don't think I've talked very much about what I do for a living.

I am fortunate enough to have an exciting career in the art of Accounting Analysis!!! Though the work is often boring, repetitive, boring, and BORING I rather enjoy the company of my coworkers. We have a lot of fun throughout the day making jokes and fart sounds. :) I have also been deemed the Party Planner here because I had two good ideas in a row once and that's how you take over an office social scene (who knew?) I am in the midst of planning a baseball themed party for this Friday to celebrate the Detroit Tigers making it to the World Series!!! I'm mostly excited because this means I get to wear jeans to work and my Tiger's T-shirt... and eat hot dogs...

I got a little grill so we can cook out near the "picnic" area of our office park and the rest of the office is bringing side dishes to share. It should be great as every potluck we have had was overflowing with delicious culinary talent... and cheese dip! Everything is better with processed cheese food... heh heh!

"What are you struggling with right now?"

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/

I recently signed up for the Nerd Fitness email list and the introductory email asked a question that I thought I would answer briefly...

 "What are you struggling with right now?"

-Right now? Right now I am struggling to keep my eyes open during the most boring day that I have experienced at work in the longest time. This curse/blessing of a day is aggravating because it highlights the fact that the hours of the day that I have the willpower to do anything, be it physical or mental, are spent chained to a chair in a partial cubicle staring at a monitor (accountant). I eat right most of the time, or at least what I thought was "right", and the same way I ate when I was 26 (now 32) and lost 30 lbs in 6 months, but I'm constantly either fighting with the 5 year old inside that wants a McDonald's Happy Meal or rationalizing why working out is "not an option today" due various ridiculous reasons (no time, too tired, already walked a lot...) Also, my boyfriend hates home cooking, or rather, prefers going out to eat or getting take out. My willpower is generally shot by the time I'm sitting in a booth looking at pictures of golden fried chicken on a bed of lettuce with eggs, cheese and bacon... but there has been a kind of "leveling up" in the works for a bit before I stumbled upon the site

Improvements that I have been able to stick with this year include: Shorter, more attainable goals - 10 lbs in two months rather than looking at the 100 I want to lose as it s l o w l y dwindles down <- I just hit this one!!!

Using my stove - I now cook/make lunch every day for work and make most dinners for myself either ahead of time and freeze them or when I get home from work

Don't give up - In all of the years that I have been "struggling" with my weight, and overall health and fitness level, I have never been able to say, "I give up" and just let it go... I know there is no other option than getting healthy. I did stop counting attempts, but I have not stopped attempting to change my body for the better.

 I'm looking forward to using all that Nerd Fitness has to offer to aid in my goals.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/

You're a Shotgun, Bang... What's Up w/That Thang?

Up and down, and up and up, and up and down, and up and up.

Countless attempts, declarations, promises, contracts, announcements, covenants, proclamations, deals with God and the devil and any pill, book, tape, water, plan, or potion that came along have resulted in... nothing.

If insanity is defined as attempting the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome, then I am certainly certifiable.

I'm going through the 5 stages of grief today after going through a mental inventory of my failed attempts at losing weight.

Denial- This blew past me in my teens. With my weight as the subject of every "just kidding" there was no denying the fact, even when I tried to make "dorky" outshine "chubby".

Anger- This was (and is) so easily stifled with food, it's not even funny. Salty chips and frozen beverages will squelch an embittered tirade of emotions any day.

Bargaining- "Dear God, please help me to get in control. Please help me get healthy. Don't let me go through my whole life like this... I promise, I'll never eat a candy bar or a nacho ever again." This was often instigated by my parents who, at different times in my life, promised a sound system for my car, $1,000 cash, or a brand new wardrobe from any store I chose...

Depression- I won't go into details... I hate remembering the things I said to myself looking in the mirror with tears streaming down my face. So, yeah, this step has been tread upon before.

Acceptance- Today, again, I admit I have failed at properly caring for my body. I have chosen poisons over nutrients, sloth over action.

I have been at odds with a very strong willed, id-esque, sub-personality who craves the "food high" and I will not let this go on any longer. I will not buy a larger pair of underpants! I will not require stretch in my jeans any longer! Eff you Lane Bryant!!!

Let's DO THIS!!!

Frizzy Hair and the Final Exam

In my last semester of school before I completed my first Associates Degree, I dropped my math class and failed Spanish. Both were only required for transfer so I didn't put my heart into it... and I was, simply, burned out.

I am preparing, today, for my final exam in the last class I am required to take for my second Associate's Degree. I just did a break down of the minimum percentage I need to get in order to get a C in the class. That's about as much as I can stand to study.

I must remember, if I decide to go back and finish my Bachelor's Degree, that there is no good reason to attend school in the summer unless it is the last credits needed to graduate... I have repeated history and am now certain that I am not good at working a full time job and going to school at night for longer than 30 weeks out of a year. 45 weeks is just too much!

I am very excited to see how not having lecture, reading, homework, or studying will effect my health goals. I know I am a stress eater and hopefully, less stress means less mindless binging. Also, the last time I was doing well and getting my body into shape was when I was not enrolled in classes.

I'll also have more time to blog! :)

Wish me luck on my final!


Oh, also... my hair has been really frizzy... hate it!

Fancy Ass French Fries

I made Pommes Frites today. The turnout was fantastic.

I signed up for a bi-weekly organic produce delivery program called Door-To-Door Organics. Last week I got three russet potatoes in the box and thought, "Man, I don't know the last time I ate a russet potato." It has been Yukon Gold and Red potatoes since my interest in great cooking began a few years ago.

I consulted the almighty internet for recipes that excluded the only dish I know with russets, the baked potato. I stumbled onto Pommes Frites, which is simply French Fries. "Simply" is an understatement.

What to do..
Scrub 3 large russet potatoes,
Quarter each one length-wise,
Sliced each quarter into 1/4 inch pieces and then cut 1/4 inch strips from each stack of slices,
Rinse and soak in cold water for 30 minutes (drain the water at least three times until clear in the 30 minutes),
Soak in clear, cold water for one hour,
Lay out on paper towels to air dry (about another hour),
Heat thick deep skillet (like a cast iron fryer) with 1-2 inches of vegetable or peanut oil (if you have a thermometer heat to 320 degrees, if not set to medium low heat and test oil with a small piece of potato after 5-10 minutes)
Fry Round 1:
Cook in batches until cooked through (about 4-5 minutes)
Fry Round 2:
Heat oil up to 360-370 degrees (or medium high with no thermometer)
Cook in batches until golden brown,
Lay out on a cookie sheet lined with paper towel and salt liberally with kosher salt or sea salt.
Serve with fancy dipping sauces or just good ol' ketchup

Now I know... frying, and fried foods, in general are not recommended in large quantities when one is focusing on overall health goals, but... when I am in control of the serving size and the ingredients, and the amount of time the oil is drained off of the fries, I know I am "indulging" in the best possible way.

I'm on the tail end of an insanely inopportune bout of the Chicken Pox. I thought myself lucky to have never endured this as a kid. I even thought I might be magically immune. I wish that I had gotten this over with while still young and missing school was my only worry. I am very lucky that my boss has endured this (and it's sister virus Shingles) and is so understanding about the whole thing. My doctor won't let me return to work yet as I am still contagious, but I'm on my 6th day off work and 9th day being sick and I have lost all patience. The novelty of daytime TV and sleeping in wore off by day 4. So I have had a lot of time to think...

I've got a new goal... and a new way to get there...
If I ever mention another fad diet, shakes, drops, teas, beads taped behind my ears, or anything wacky please verbally abuse me into shamefully laying whatever new garbage they invent aside and get my focus back on long-term health habits.

Today I weigh 223.4 lbs
My goal is 158 lbs

My new way to get there is not new, it's mad old, but It's new of me to accept it. There is no time limit, there is no diet, there is no schedule... I will be healthier every day. I will make wise choices with everything I eat and do. I will log my progress here and will begin logging photographs each month as I progress.

But first... I gotta kick these damn Chicken Pox.

I have been well, thank you.

The gym, though it is old and moldy (quite literally), is my friend. I have been wearing out the elliptical machines (quite figuratively) and am feelin' goooooooooood as Jenifer Hudson has been singing on those commercials for a weight loss program that SHALL NOT BE NAMED! :)

The challenges I am in (yes plural) are going well; slow and steady, but well.
I have achieved an 8 lb loss overall since the beginning of 2k12! My health level feels a crap ton better than a measly 8lbs though.

I don't know if I want to be bothered with weight training yet, because it may build bulk/retain weight (in the fat to muscle conversion process) but I am welcoming advice on that.

I had an excellent Valentine's Day yesterday. My favorite boy got me some yummy dark chocolates from Rocky Mountain, a beautiful bouquet, tickets to see Cults (the band, not a gathering of several groups of kooks), and tickets to see Anthony Bourdaine and Eric Ripert at the Detroit Opera House on Friday!!! I can not wait!

He is the sweetest man! (my boyfriend, not Anthony Bourdaine... though I'm sure he has his qualities)

I have been having a great time reconnecting with friends and family lately too. I had a fantastic lunch with all my MI Haydon ladies last Saturday and the Saturday after next I will be getting together with some girls from waaaaaay back in the day at JFK High! Should be a great time, hopefully full of laughs and free from the anxiety I inflicted on myself in high school to either be funny or shut up. :)

I'll be hitting up the gym tonight and then spending some quality time with my pal MA. I can't wait to catch up on everything we missed in the last week or so since we saw each other last! :)

Good Times!!!

Short and Sweet

Just a quick update... 2 days in a row!!!

Workin' on 3 as I type. Eventually I won't post about making it through a day, but boy does it feel good to say I have made it 2 days with no cheats!

And The Road Rose Up To Meet Me...

At the risk of jinxing a milestone in progress, I am happy to report that I have made it through one and a half days with no cheats. No excuses like, "it's just one bite," or, "it's just one day"... So far...

If you chose to read through my archives on this subject you would see this type of entry typically precedes a post on the topic of how I've failed, let myself down, and ruined everything forever...

So.. hopefully... not again?

The Challenge is on with Bryan's family... I weighed in, at night, with shoes on at 235, last year I weighed more than Bryan's dad who is taller, older (duh) and more male than I... I was very sad... This year I am proud to report I weigh less than Bryan's dad... 3 lbs less to be exact...

The Fitness Challenge at work starts Monday January 16th 2012

My own New Year's Resolution/Kick Start Diet is the one I finally stuck to since yesterday morning, and I'm down a total of 5 lbs since the start of the year, so not too shabby... but I've got to keep it up. I would have been down even more if it weren't for Doritos and excuses.

I really wonder if hypnosis works for food issues. If anyone reading this has tried it, please comment with your thoughts. I know a lot of this is mind over matter, but I give in to matter a lot and need any tools I can get to get my mind right.

Next week I will begin my gym schedule. I'm committing to going after work on Mondays and Wednesdays to start out. I will add more as I advance, if necessary. I'll be doing mainly cardio (elliptical, treadmill, stationary bike) to begin, but will add weight training after my body gets used to things.

I'm hoping to have my budget in order by summer so I can sign up with a personal trainer at my gym. I know other gyms have free trainers, but I've had a Lifetime Membership at Fitness USA paid off since I was 20 and feel like it's worth it to use the gym for free and pay for the trainer when I'm ready.

Anyway, I'm well on my way to two whole days of sticking to my guns. Screw you Doritos!

COME on!!!

So Doritos are really tempting... Well, not really...

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I wanted to stop at the grocery store and get a bag of Doritos...
Then I did...
Then I ate them...
Then I dug the chocolate truffles that Bryan got me for Christmas out of the freezer and ate two of them...
All of this instead of dinner because I felt so guilty afterward (read, sick to my stomach) that I didn't want to add to the calorie total for the day...

What a dumb move...

Anyway...

Now we are doing a biggest loser competition at work. I didn't think I'd have enough interest, but it turns out a lot of people at work want the motivation to drop their holiday weight (and then some) after all... So, maybe once the one with Bryan's family starts, and the one at work starts I will have enough motivation to make a difference... Maybe.

I just need to never find myself alone at home with nothing to do... that's when I get to crunchin' on chips and eating spoonfulls of peanut butter...

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Why don't you go to the gym when you're bored?"...
Well, to that I say... nothing, I got nothing.

I just hope the desire to win money and bragging rights from nearly every social outlet I encounter will inspire me to avoid the couch and get sweaty.

Though... I really hate sweating... :P

New Year, New You!

Hiya folks!

Today is day 2 of the Kick-Start Diet Transformation Extravaganza! That's a mouthful. I will refer to it as KS from now on.

This part of my attack plan includes breaking my addiction to fast food, junk food and sugar.
I am abstaining from added sugar, bad carbs, added oils/fats, and artificial mumbo jumbo for the next 40-ish days in order to clean out the garbage and reset my system.
This is going well as it is only KS day 2.
This will not always be the case.
I am going to struggle, but I will be strong and I will overcome dangit!!!

The tough part, for me, is arguing with myself. It always has been. This blog is intended as a way to lay out the argument, laugh at how silly it is, and get on with reality.

The Challenge (between me, Bryan, his dad, and maybe his sis and some of his friends) will start next week sometime. That will add a level of commitment to this initiative by throwing a monetary prize into the arena. We all put in $60 or so and the person with the highest percentage of weight lost in 12 weeks gets the money and bragging rights. If only there were more chubby people at work, I could start one here too, but... there are not. I'm the jiggliest person in the office... and I hate it...

I'm keeping a journal of my food intake, drinking plenty of water and tea, taking a multivitamin, biotin, echinacea, and vitamin C daily and a girl at work and I are going to walk the empty third floor of our building every weekday at lunch.

So, I've got a weight loss buddy at work, my boyfriend Bryan doing The Challenge as an ally, my mom and sister doing the same kick-start, and a ton of friends supporting me through it all.

I really feel like this will be the year I get it done. On track, at goal, and in maintenance by 2013!!!

-----

On a non-nutrition note, I read all three books in the Hunger Games series over the holiday weeks and they are fantastic... I can not wait for the films, though I will need to do my best to forget details and let myself enjoy the director's interpretation of the story.