Round 3

I've been quiet for a little while again. The excuses have worn thin and my job is no longer in the way of my fitness goals since I got laid of on the 7th. I'm taking this time of less responsibility to focus on my body and my health again. I'm using a calorie tracker app on my phone and am working out at the gym 3 times a week. I'm not going to obsess, I'm not going to starve, and I'm not going to weigh myself every morning hoping to see fractions of lbs dropping like magic. I am not going to make this feel like a job or a chore. I appreciate support and prayers of perserverence. I don't want to fail again.

It's Good to Review

I suppose it's helpful to read what I wrote once in awhile. I remember how I felt when I wrote the last two posts and it made me want that feeling again. I'm done waiting for the right day or time; for a Sunday or the 1st of the month. One meal at a time, one lazy moment at a time. It's about the battles...

Go carefully, carefully, oh Airstream driver

I had a great weekend. Friday night I relaxed, reconnected with a dear friend, lost power during an awesome thunderstorm, slept with the windows open and a cool breeze. Saturday I hung out with my parent's and went to a grad party and on Sunday, made pizza for my dad that he actually liked (pickiest eater ever!)...

I'm optimistic about summer and can't wait to finish this short semester and have more time to be outside riding my sweet bike, walking around downtown and going camping with my family. My next mini-semester class is only three hours long rather than 4.

I also want to plan a Cedar Point trip soon. It's funny that it took this long for me to act like a kid and be excited about playing outside, but I'm glad it happened. I can't wait to go to the park to swing again...

I'm feeling the urge to get out and move around more and that's encouraging to me. I want less obsession over scales and mirrors and measuring tape and more free flowing enjoyment of life and all of the beneficial things it has to offer.

A Day At the Park

Last night I went to the park with some friends and we ate some turkey hot dogs and hung out.

I forgot how much absolute fun it is to play and swing... I was flying through the air and put my head all the way back to see the world upside down... I felt like I was 8 again. Memories of the hours I'd spent and the playgrounds I loved flooded back to me. Not a bit of sadness was there, just joy and pumping my legs and stretching them out again as I laid back and sliced through the air to swing higher and higher.

Fun... THAT'S what it was like... Now I remember.

This weekend should be even more fun as I'm going to a grad party and a bonfire and making pizzas with my dad on Sunday to celebrate how good of a Father he's been to me.

Feeling a little sentimental today, but it's ok... It's Friday, I'm wearing jeans at work and all is good in my hood.

Nom Nom Nom

Feeling gooooood...

I've been feeling like I actually want to workout lately, which is fantastic, just... now I need to find the time. Working 10-12 hours a day and going to school for 4 hours a night on Monday and Wednesday are major time eaters, not to mention homework and other commitments. Though, I did ride my bike to school the last time there was a clear night and it was really fun (especially the ride home downhill).

What I'm doing that is working is being mindful of my stomach.
Am I really hungry enough to eat ALL of this giant Greek salad or do I want to get the dressing on the side and take half of it home?
Do I really want two chicken sausages with my green beans and quinoa or is one enough?
Should I order desert right away or see if I'm even going to want it after I finish with my meal?
Am I hungry or do I just feel like chewing?

Yesterday I had Laughing Cow cheese and Special K crackers for breakfast... I normally avoid processed name brands, but this was good, filling, and felt like a lot more than 4 points (200 calories)...
Lunch was the blue plate special at the little home style diner by work and I ate the entire Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes w/gravy (sooo freaking good) and don't feel guilty because it was fresh made, satisfying, and not the norm...
I was still full through dinner time and forgot my tofu burrito when I left for school so I had to settle for a pack of peanuts from the vending machine at our 7:30 break....
When I got home I cut up a small cucumber and an ounce of Gruyere cheese and had a nice late night snack (which I usually avoid)

I'm feeling better. I'm down 3lbs since June 1st and I don't feel deprived or over worked...

Success!

Last Supper

Last night I went out for my last "oh my gosh you're crazy gonna die" meal of the year.

I went with my roommate to Rosie O'Grady's in Ferndale... It was soooooo good. We had the Stuffed Mushrooms for an appetizer and I had Classic Sliders with Onion Rings and a couple pieces of MaryAnn's Peperoni and Mushroom Pizza. I was stuffed to the gills in deep fried, greasy, deliciousness.

I have to say though, not feeling as excited about that food this morning. I'm groggier than usual and my insides feel the way the garbage can at the movie theater smells... think about it... icky.

I think eating a "final" meal like that helps to say goodbye to the old way of eating like a garbage disposal and the way it makes me feel the next day really helps to motivate me to eat healthier and move around more so I don't have to feel that gross anymore.

I know the facts; Eat better, Move more... I have practiced them sucessfully before... I just need to go the distance this time.

Final push!!!

I can do it!!!

Day Whatever.... Redo

FYI, I quit, started, quit, started and quit again...

I'm not going to make my goal by January 4th 2011.

It's unhealthy to lose more than 1-2lbs/week and pretty much impossible to lose 4lbs/week over 6 months.

Anyway... Screw it... I got winded and dizzy from climbing the stairs at the ball park yesterday and I hate it.

New goal:

I'm going to be healthier on January 4th, 2011 than I am now.

Starting at 215 (I kept 3lbs off since January); I'm going for weighing under 170 within the next 6 months. Minimum 45lbs total; just under 2lbs/week.

Food plan:
Weight Watchers points program; observing good health guidelines

Activity plan:
Alternate Pilates and Cross Training videos
Spend one or two days a week doing cardio at the gym.
and for an extra little kick, I'll use my bicycle as my primary mode of transportation around my neighborhood (school, church, grocery store, chiropractor)

Support plan:
Regardless of the possibility of failure and shame (ha!); I'm going to tell everyone I know that I am working on this goal and ask for moral support and accountability. So, that means you! :)

Truth to dispel potential excuses:

It's not ok for me to have popcorn for dinner

My chiropractor said I only have to take it easy with workouts for the first two weeks while he fixes a few spine things, but said I can still do low impact stuff like riding my bike or pilates.

There's no such thing as a free day, though a free meal every couple weeks is supposed to help boost metabolism.

Bread is a major weakness and I have to closely monitor my intake.

And most importantly, with the exception of the tragedy of a break-up or the celebration of my birth...
BBQ Chicken Nachos are forbidden.

Thank you for observing my rant.

I look forward to proving to myself that I can complete something worthwhile. :)

Day 64: Lent is Looooong

I sure do come up with great plans… and I’m really good at not following through.

I haven’t been blogging, not just because I’m still struggling but because I really have been busy during the week, I have no excuse for the weekends.

A friend asked me about it and told me to remember how excited I was at the start of it… Good advice, I just need to figure out how to get that excitement back…

I will say that I am doing a lot better than I was before I started this challenge in regards to eating better things and not even wanting the garbage I was eating. I’m also moving a heck of a lot more than I was, but I’m not achieving anything major yet. I’m battling with my mind every minute of the day. Saying “no” to almost every whim of my inner junk food junkie and kicking my lazy self off the couch and into my gym shoes but those are not my biggest obstacle, it’s visualizing the result. I don’t feel like I’m making any progress even though the scale says I am… I can’t see myself at the end of the road and I am losing hope.

I got a few new tools that may help to stay on track and I’m excited to try them out this week. One is trying on my “skinny” jeans; putting on the smallest pair of jeans I own that can still zip all the way and comparing how they fit each week. The purpose is to help me to feel the results I may not be seeing yet. If they’re looser, great! If not, it should motivate me to get moving more the next week.

I am going to attempt to update more often. Maybe not daily, but maybe twice some days. Who knows?

Day 54: The Best Things

What is most important to me? My next meal?
This is a very specific challenge and it's going to take more effort than I gave to any other endeavor.
Losing pounds is hard work and requires focus.
Like everything worth the effort; good health is not easily attained.

That's where I am today, stronger, healthier and focused on reality.

• This is not easy
• I can't eat whatever I want
• I have to workout (just as often as, or more often than, I do)
• This isn't a "lifestyle change", this is war

I've worked out every single day for the past 9... Hooray's are in order! :)
I love the circuit training videos the best and feel the most rapid results from that type of workout.
I am making healthy choices more often in my diet, but could definitely use more discipline there.
My mood is even and elevated for the most part and I'm putting God in the center of it...
He's not just for praying for stuff you want, y'know! :)

I'm seeing it this way now, God gave me this body to use to serve Him and I trashed it. Like a spoiled rich kid who totals their sweet 16 Mercedes and says, "Daddy fix it, k? Thanks, bye!" I have begged and pleaded that God just fix my body and my mental problem with my body image with a wave of His hand and for good reason He answered no... This is my body, on loan from God, to care for. The damage done is mine to repair. He gives me strength and encouragement and people in my life to motivate me and hold me accountable, but I have to do the moving and the discipline part.

Day 50: Don't Be In Such A Hurry

I haven't blogged about this for a few days due to technical dificulties and whatnot... I've been working out everyday as planned and I've been watching my calories and sticking to my food plan and it's been 5 days... I haven't lost any weight yet... I'm working out like mad, feeling better, taller and stronger but that stupid scale won't move... I just need to keep going and be patient right? Yeah...

Day 46: 2 in a row

Day 2 of my Lent challenge went swimmingly aside from some discouraging factors...

I weigh myself every morning to keep things in perspective and my heart dropped when I saw that I had a gain of 0.2 since Wednesday morning, also I can't stop thinking about food and am almost constantly wanting to eat... not hungry, just want to munch on crackers or tortilla chips...

I have followed my workout plan wholeheartedly for two straight days and am so glad to be feeling sore muscles again... I know the soreness isn't the best feeling in the world, but I also know that it's a part of building lean muscle to help burn the fat more efficiently.

As for the meal plan I have strictly adhered to my intended food list with no additions and just need to get used to not getting whatever unhealthy indulgence I want whenever I want it... The same can be said for my life in general.

Rewarding myself for getting through a bad day by eating a box of crackers or a bunch of junk food and sugary garbage is actually punishment.

Day 45: Day 1

Woke up early and did my workout at the gym
Ate according to plan even though my mouth wanted to chew and chew and chew something crunchy
Had wonderfully delicious sushi for dinner with an awesome friend
Tried to drink my one beer for the week and was too full/tired to finish half a pnit
Got to bed at a decent hour

I think I'm going to stop tracking my exercise calories out... maybe it'll be better to not know that I can eat another hundred calories because I walked for 20 minutes? I don't think I'm to the point where I have to increase my intake to support my activity level just yet.

All in all... One day of "Lent" down... 39 to go.

Day 44: 40 Days of Sweating

Today is Fat Tuesday, so I'm pretending calories don't exist and just not stressing out today. As of this morning I'm back down to 213 (yay!) and in need of a better short term goal (834 calories/day? What was I thinking???)

Tomorrow I'm beginning a 40 Day intensive challenge to get below 200lbs by the end of Lent. I'm not catholic, but it's as good a time as any to give up sweets and junk food and to put focus on activity.

The plan includes:

• Working out every morning at the gym (They open at 6am!)
• Going to the gym after work if my whiny, lazy inner child won't let me wake up early enough
• Following a balanced meal plan (kinda like weight watchers)
• Counting the calories in everything I eat
• Weighing every Sunday and measuring on 2/17, 3/10 and 3/28
• Drinking a ton of water and only 1 beer or glass of wine/week
• Avoiding sugar and fatty meats like the plague and limiting my bread intake
• Updating my blog daily, like the good old days

I've been feeling really discouraged lately and giving up the fight on a daily basis and it would be super helpful if everyone that reads this would send me notes of encouragement throughout this endeavor.

Thanks in advance for all of your support!

Day 38: Balancing Act

If I'm too busy, I don't have time to cook and end up eating something from a fast crap restaurant...

If I have too much free time, I fill my idle hands with crackers, popcorn and whatever else is around in the house...

Stress makes me overeat

Boredom makes me overeat

In between lies balance...

I'm currently sufficiently occupied to the point of having time to prepare meals when I'm home and also have enough time to prepare meals in advance of stressful times... I have very little hang time to ponder the combination options on the condiment shelf to create a dipping sauce to add flavor to the Triscuits I bought two weeks ago.

This is a good place to be.

Day 37: Recharged

I slipped a little more and as I realized that I was headed back to the starting point at a rapid speed I became depressed and slipped further... The Superbowl party was the turning point for me. I don't feel like I ate all that much, but managed to gain 2 lbs between Sunday morning and Monday morning. I have decided that I am limiting my alcohol intake a lot more and that I just have to track everything I consume like a maniac... track like a maniac, that is... hopefully I won't be consuming anything like a maniac.

Working out is scaled back to leisurely walking and three half hour sets of moderate cardio/week... Almost passing out really freaked me out. I plan to work with a trainer after the summer to work on the toning stuff, so I'm focusing more on limiting calories in than increasing calories out.

Anyway, back up to 215 on Monday morning... Here we go again.

Day 31: Short Term Goals

iGoal Informer is an App on my iPhone that tells me how likely my chances are of making goals happen... I've been using this to tell me what my calorie allowance is to lose 2lbs/week in an year's time to lose 100lbs...

From now until March15th I am trying something different... I set my iGoal to calculate calories to lose 25lbs within a safe time frame and it said it was possible (and not in the danger zone) to manage a balance of 834 calories/day... This does not mean I won't be eating enough calories (I think 1200 is the healthy minimum) but it does require working out more aggressively...

I think I just need a boost to my self confidence to know I can keep breaking through these obstacles... When I hit below 190 for the first time since college I'll be so happy I might pee my pants! :)

Day 30: Support and Advice

Insatiable appetite strikes again...

I don't know what to do. I either get really motivated to eat right and then I'm too lazy to workout or I'm on fire at the gym and come home to devour everything I see... Actually, lately I'm too lazy to workout and still devouring everything I see, but I recognize a change needed there... So I'm reaching out...

To those of you who are a healthy weight and have to make an effort to stay that way or are on a steady path to health; what are some of the tools you use to avoid binges and laziness? How do you fight urges to eat when you're not just "not hungry", but full? What do you do to motivate yourself to workout?

This phase of the one year challenge is calorie counting; in and out. I have to have a balance of less than 1165/day to lose 2lbs/week... So if I already used my food calorie budget and want a handfull of raisins, for instance, I have to hit the stationary bike for 15 minutes... Stupid science!

Day 24 to 29: Off the Grid

I lost my mind for a little bit...
I caught myself flubbing the quantities of food in my calorie tracking app and exaggerating the amount of time I spent working out...
I thought "Well, it's not that bad, the scale seems fine, just gonna break even this week"...

I gained 0.8 lbs...

I undid week 3 and lost two weeks worth of progress.

This is day 29 and I'm keeping a bookmark on this page to remind me of what my excuses can do.

Yesterday I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and just about every weight resistance machine in the building that worked my legs... I followed up with 30 minutes on the treadmill and a good bit of stretching...

Today I'm doing arms as well as abs because my excuses caused me to miss arms day last week.

I'm following a meal plan and have prepped just about every meal on the chart already so I shouldn't have any trouble keeping to it this week.

I'm discouraged, but going forward anyway.

Day 23: Feel the Change

I feel gross when I eat something that's been cooked by means of immersion into a vat of oil... I can sense the greasy yuckiness in my stomach. French fries are so not worth it.

I'm going to the gym from work again tonight. It's lower body day so, my legs and bum muscles are gonna be burnin'! I've got some veggies and rice on the menu for lunch and some whole wheat pasta and sausage stuff for dinner.

I also got a menu plan worked out for next week (Sunday-Saturday). I'm going to start doing a little of what I learned doing Weight Watchers and keep doing the calorie counting aspect too. I'm assuming it's important, especially now that I'm working out, that I get my daily requirements of protein, vegetables/fruits, water, etc.

My roommate is going gangbusters at the gym now too and it's really helping me stay on track... I like that we can inspire each other to stay the course without actually having to say, "Stay the course" or other such cheesy things... It also helps to have someone to share the healthy meals with, rather than being the only one chewing steamed broccoli and wishing it were BBQ chicken nachos.

I'm looking at the chart of the dates that certain goals will be reached and trying not to be discouraged by my desire for instant results... The first milestone, for me, will be on or before April 19th when I drop below 190 for the first time since high school. By summer, I'll be in the high 160's and when sweater weather rolls around, I'll be at the high-end of my healthy BMI at 140. 

I've made charts like this before only to look at them months later with a "coulda, shoulda, woulda" attitude. I was very reluctant to make a new one, but I'm determined to keep an eye on this weekly and remind myself of the time line. I think this could be a great way to actually acheive these goals.

Day 22: Workin' Out

I did what I set out to do at the gym and then some!!!
I forgot to get measured though, but I decided to only update those stats once a month, rather than once a week so I'll update on the 1st of February and then again on March 1st.

I worked out, felt great and had energy to burn when I got home. I tried watching TV and vegging out before bed, but I was soooo bored so I went a little stir crazy... I think I'm going to need a hobby or a big thick book to read before I start taking classes in the spring, or maybe I can just spend more time at the gym?
I ate like a monster yesterday, before and after working out, but still noticed a notch down on the scale this morning, so somethings working...

I'm feeling nauseated and dizzy today so food doesn't really sound good to me at all. I might just make some soup for dinner and go to bed right after band rehearsal, hopefully I'm not coming down with something.

Day 21: Also 19 & 20

The weekend was good and relaxing. I went totally insane with calories, but managed to lose 0.8 lbs over all! I just think of what I could have lost if beer and pizza hadn't gotten thrown into the mix. I've been saying I need to be more active and have yet to do anything to that effect. I had been planning to wait until the Daniel Fast was over to get on a steady schedule anyhow, but I've done one high intensity workout, one session of pilates and one 20 minute round on the elliptical machine in the last 3 weeks... By the way 3 weeks down, 49 to go!!!

Here's the activity plan for the next 4 weeks:
Sundays: Cardio (elliptical 20 min, bike 20 min, treadmill 20 min) 
Mondays: Core Training (bike warm-up 10 min, abdominal weight machines and pilates)
Wednesdays: Weight Training - Legs (treadmill warm-up 10 min, lower body weight machines)
Fridays: Weight Training - Arms (nordic elliptical warm-up 10 min, upper body weight machines and free weights)

I see this as about 4-5 hours a week. Planning to succeed requires bringing my gym clothes to work so I can go straight to the gym instead of going home and making an excuse to watch TV instead. :)

I'm going to have the "trainers" at Fitness USA measure me tonight so I can compare it to the measurements I took on my own. I might need to replace mine with theirs because I'm not really sure if I did mine right.

I've read that a routine should be changed up every 2-6 weeks so I'm only commiting to this schedule for 4 weeks to see how it goes and to allow room for adjustments. If it doesn't seem to be producing the results I expect I might consult with a certified trainer down the road.

Anyway, I'm up and at work toooooo early and already losing steam.
I'll update the stats page after my workout tonight.

Day 18: Bad Mood

There's something about being in a funky mood that makes me want to eat junk food. Though the scale is moving steadily down, I'm getting discouraged that the desire to be unhealthy seems to be holding strong. This makes me cranky... and makes me bad company... not the band, just... you know what I meant.

Things I like and will keep doing:

• Fruit alone for breakfast. It's easy, tasty and satisfying in the AM.
• Heavy on the veggies. Having mostly vegetables helps to fill me without all of the calories in carbs and proteins.
  
• Variety show. Different meal options in an wide array of colors is pleasing to my stomach and my eyes.
• Lean proteins. Beans, hummus, nuts, edamame and lentils... Delicious protein that is high in fiber and low in fat.
• Whole grains. Wheat tortillas and whole grain bread just taste better and have more nutrients than white flour.
• Whole foods. The less it's processed, the better it is for anyone. Plus, cooking your own food burns more calories.

Things I can't wait to have again:

• Coffee (no... really?!?!?)
• Honey
• Some meat... once in awhile I really miss chicken
• Cheese!!!!!
• Eggs... the most perfect form of animal protein if you're careful about the yolks.

Things I just have to let go of already:

• Processed and pre-packaged foods... This covers anything that has a nutrition label that lists anything that is unrecognizable unless it's written in another language. So... Most (but not all) chips, crackers, noodle bowls, frozen dinners, canned concoctions, candy bars and frozen desserts. Exceptions are organic/all natural alternatives with clearly listed ingredients that read like "Whole wheat flour, canola oil, salt" (no "monosodiumglutacarbodiglyceridepolymorphinmeldahyd to preserve freshness")
  
• White things... Why's it gotta be WHITE things? No white rice, sugar, flour, mayonnaise, sour cream... The exceptions are yogurt, cauliflower, egg whites and, technically, potatoes (in moderation)

This doesn't mean I won't ever have a BBQ Chicken Pizza again just not the prepackaged frozen kind that's been sprayed with some weird chemical to make it brown better in my toaster oven.

Day 17: Excuses and Gifts

There's this beer at the local brewery called The Gift... It's a Belgian Amber Ale with a rather high alcohol content by volume... 10%
It happens to be as delicious as it is potent. I allowed myself to enjoy one of these wonderful treats last night and, I have to say, it was very worth it.

I'm really tired today though and all I want is a big salad from the local coney island. I wonder if The Gift had anything to do with it?

Day 16: Tacos

Sensing a theme yet? Here's the thing... I'm a food addict. I love the feeling of chewing and being full. For the most part taste doesn't really get factored in, because I used to cram the food in as fast as I could and rarely got to taste it... Knowing this now and knowing how much I enjoy tasting food now, I would assume that I wouldn't want to eat the tasteless cardboard and paste concoctions offered by Taco Bell... but I can help but crave a run for the border. One day soon this garbage instinct will pass, right?

I'm looking forward to next Monday when I end phase 1: The Daniel Fast and go straight into Calorie Reduction and physical activity. I miss levened bread, coffee and honey. All things that can be good for you in the right proportions...

Day 15: Pizzaaaaa

I want pizza... but... I checked it out on my calorie counter and the way I used to eat pizza (one for me, none for you) cost me over 2,000 calories!!! TWO THOUSAND!!! Gross!

Day 14: Mom's Gone Organic

I spent the day after church with my mom and dad doing laundry at their place. My mom made lunch and to my surprise she had all organic vegetables and some really good/healthy choices around the house. I had some homemade red lentil soup and a nice green salad with a vinaigrette that I made (mmmmm). When I got home around 6 I was still a bit full so I cooked all of my lunches (and some dinners) for the week and had a little bit of the red beans and rice that I'm having for lunch Wednesday. I'm still having spells of mentally craving unhealthy foods... I'm still struggling with hissy fits and inner arguments about the difference between want and need, but I've got 2 weeks out of 52 under my belt and I'm still committed.

The big number for loss this week is 0.6... not a whole pound, but it beats staying the same after trying so hard to not over eat and kicks the pants off of gaining.

If you're interested you can check my stats  here

I went to the gym once last week and didn't do one workout at home. I did help with a little lifting and running up and down stairs to move a friend's stuff into my basement, but I believe I need to be doing more intentional exercize. I haven't been making the time but I'm going to make a trip to the gym tonight and Wednesday night for some more elliptical abuse. :)

Day 13: Busy Eater

I had a busy morning and all I wanted to do in the evening was eat... So I did, but I didn't go as nuts as I could have... Beans, corn, salsa and blue corn chips make the most excellent nachos! Alos, movie... popcorn... didn't reallt want it and didn't see the bottom of the bag for the first time in, like, forever!!!

Day 12: Tiny Stomach

I've always heard that the human stomach is about the size of the average human's fist... but year's of training (or bad habits) have caused mine to stretch a bit and caused the nerves in there that say, "Hey! Enough already!!!", to be silent. In the last two weeks, because of my insanely restrictive kick off diet, I now feel like my stomach is super tiny. I eat a banana for breakfast and I'm full, I eat a whole can of lentil soup for lunch and I'm stuffed to the gills... this is great... this is why the arguments with myself and the hissy fits I threw in my head are all worthwhile. I'm making real progress in my attitude about food and I'm feeling good.

Yesterday was sooooo not about eating. It was about being really busy with year end close at work and being excited about starting up RPM (small group bible study) again. It was about going to see a friend I haven't seen in almost a year and staying out way past my bedtime watching zombie movies and chatting with an ex-marine and his friend from Portugal. When I lose the desire to have my face in a big bowl of food, I look up and see all of the fun I've been missing. There are so many people I've ignored or pushed aside just to sit at home and listen to the TV while I eat as many cheeseburgers and onion chips as I can cram into my mouth. I used to prefer Saturday nights to myself to "catch up on my DVR and Netflix" with a bag of Taco Bell or Mickey D's... When food is not just the substitute for friends, but the preference, there's a problem... I am so glad I'm through the other side and seeing where that path began. Never again.

Tonight. Cardio after work and then home for some R&R... I had 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm helping a friend move tomorrow so I'll need to be refreshed for that.

Day 11: Countdown to Coffee

Oh how I miss my rich and robust caffienated friend! I smell it all through the office all the day and crave it's deliciousness! Seriously, water's getting boring. 9 days left to go... I can do this!

I went to the gym lasy night and did 20 minutes on the elliptical machine... I forgot how hard it is. At one point I could push myself to do a whole hour or up to 500 calories from the little meter on the machine. But now I have to really keep telling myself, "I can do it," to get through the halfway mark. Once I'm halfway I might as well finish, right? So I worked out and was feeling all good and endorphiney and went home to stretch (my favorite, for real) and I feel really good today. I'm definately going to keep up with a good cardio schedule.

Food wise I'm seeing an improvement in my attitude about what I'm choosing to eat. Last night I made a stir fry with some of my veggies and my roommate made some brown rice to go with it. It turned out to be super good and I had never made stir fry before. I've decided to share it with you. It should serve 4 hungry people.

Vegetable Stir Fry-
1/2 cup Baby Carrots cut into strips
1/2 cup Sweet Potato chopped
1/2 Yellow Pepper cut into strips
1/2 Green Pepper cut into strips
1/2 cup Sweet Yellow Onion cut into 1" thick strips
2 cups Mushrooms sliced
1/4 cup Edamame (Soy) Beans precooked/frozen thawed
2 cups Brown Rice cooked
1 tbsp Olive Oil
2 tbsp Soy Sauce
Salt and Cajun seasoning to taste

Heat the oil to just under medium heat in a large skillet. Add carrots and sweet potatoes. After about 3 minutes add peppers and onions and stir. Add mushrooms, edamame and seasoning after another 5 minutes. Stir to coat evenly with seasonings. Lower the heat to simmer, put a lid on it and walk away for 10 minutes. Serve over hot rice and eat it all up.

Serves 4-6 at only 248 calories per serving!!!

Day 10: Today?

I don't remember what day is what anymore... I tried to update at night, but I'm too tired to pay attention to anything but my awesomely comfortable bed...

I'm amping up the cardio this week. I feel lazy and discouraged so the cure, for me, is the endorphin rush of moving my body.

The food plan is going fine. I find myself having little hissy fits about not being able to have one of the cookies that someone brought into work or not stopping at Taco Bell to pick up dinner and I don't know how, but I'm talking myself down pretty well. I have some scientific research and graphs as visual aids to remind me of the consequences of giving in to every little craving. Also, I think it's going to be important to break this indulgence cycle once and for all, because I'm not going to stay at my goal weight eating 2000+ calories a day either. I'm conditioning my thoughts and habits and cravings for a whole new lifestyle.

I'm keeping at it... just need to get my inner eater to get on board.

Day 9: Lousy

Bad day...

Day 8: Stats and Start Overs

I updated my stats in another post here

Woo Hoo!!! Week 1 is done and I, ultimately, did very well.

Even with the minor hiccup yesterday, I lost 5 lbs and a few inches here and there. I feel good and I'm growing spiritually through this first phase of the journey. This week I continue the Daniel Fast (ending date for that is 1/25/10). When the fasting stage is over I will be adding in more cardio workouts. For now I need to take it easy so I don't go passing out and all that silly stuff. Pilates all week, this week...

Also, I'm soooo glad I added whole grains and beans, nuts and legumes. I would have completely lost my mind otherwise. And... chocolate rice milk... love it.

I seriously miss drinking coffee... :(

Short-ish post today... I'm going to start updating at night from now on so the thoughts of the day are more fresh in my mind.

Statistics

Monday, January 18, 2010

Weight: 212.8

Measurements-

Arms:   15"

Calves: 16"
Thighs:  30"
Butt:     53"
Hips:    51"
Waist:  36"
Bust:    36"

Last Week:

Weight: 213.4

Measurements-

Arms:   15"

Calves: 16"
Thighs:  30"
Butt:     53"
Hips:    51"
Waist:  36"
Bust:    36"

Difference:

Weight: -0.8

Measurements-
Arms:    0"
Calves:  0"
Thighs:   0"
Butt:      0"
Hips:    0"
Waist:  0"
Bust:    0"

Monday, January 11, 2010

Weight: 213.4

Measurements-

Arms:   15"

Calves: 16"
Thighs:  30"
Butt:     53"
Hips:    51"
Waist:  36"
Bust:    36"

Last Week:

Weight: 218.4

Measurements-
Arms:    16"
Calves:  17"
Thighs:  30"
Butt:     53"
Hips:    52"
Waist:  37"
Bust:    38"

Difference:

Weight: -5

Measurements-
Arms:    -1"
Calves:  -1"
Thighs:   0"
Butt:      0"
Hips:    -1"
Waist:  -1"
Bust:    -2"

Monday, January 4, 2010


Weight: 218.4

Measurements-
Arms:    16"
Calves:  17"
Thighs:  30"
Butt:     53"
Hips:    52"
Waist:  37"
Bust:    38"

Day 7: Failure

On Sunday I went to lunch with my grandma and cousins and realized my idea of going off the rails is much different than it used to be. I had chicken and a little bit of really lean steak and felt guilty. My body retaliated to the chemicals and bacteria that it was no longer used to. I don't feel bad emotionally though. Tomorrow morning is weigh in and measuring. I'm back on the Daniel Fast program and praying hard for guidance and strength from God. I've heard He's pretty good at carrying people through their tough situations, so I'm really looking forward to being helped out. God is so good to me and I'm thankful for His infinite wisdom.

Day 6: Dying For a Sweet Fix

Day 5 was awesome... food was the last thing on my mind for most of the day. I spent the evening cutting hair at the warming center and had the best time.

Today I'm trying out a few new flavor options and adding in whole grains. I was flipping out and dreaming of Doritos so I went to Whole Foods and got whole grain crackers (ingredients: whole grain, salt) and whole wheat tortillas made with no honey or added weirdness... Guacamole never tasted so good as it did with the Whole Foods healthy version od Triscuits. Also, chocolate rice milk is a sweet salvation with no sweetener or bad stuff!!!

Today's entry is short and may be updated later. I've got to run to see Avatar @ IMAX 3D! it's gonna rock!

Day 5: Getting Full

Yesterday was great...
I had 3 clementines for breakfast and was full. I was too busy and not at all hungry at lunch time. For dinner I chopped and roasted two medium red skin potatoes with a little bit of olive oil and a Tuscan seasoning blend I had. It was satisfying and delicious. I'm getting fuller on less food. I think this means my stomach is shrinking back to normal size. I like it!

If it weren't for the smell of the potatoes roasting in my toaster oven, I don't know that I could have made it through making the creamy chicken and pasta casserole for the warming center without grabbing a few "tastes". The casserole smelled really good too, but I was super careful not to lick my fingers or the spoons.

I only know one way to be sure that pasta is cooked, though... and I bit into one of the penne tubes with my front teeth and spit the bite out into the garbage. I'm serious about this challenge and I don't want to get the carb train rolling out of the station just yet.

The mental craving cycle is beginning to break. Yesterday was full of thoughts of Doritos. At the grocery store, while buying the ingredients for the casserole, I noticed how much the low nutrient/high fat foods are marketed over healthier, tastier options. It makes me mad because, even though the choice to by is ultimately mine, I feel preyed upon by large companies selling bags of garbage to fatten their wallets and us. I wonder if weight loss companies are connected to the food makers somehow. It wouldn't shock me if Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig paid for Frito Lay's advertising.

Today is more of the same; Phase one of the Daniel Fast (fruits and veggies only) and tons of water. So far I'm 1,543 calories under my weekly budget of 7,700 and feeling good. Tonight's physical activity is giving haircuts to the homeless folks at the warming center... it's tougher than you think. :)

Day 4: I Have To Cook

Pilates was awesome and actually helped me to get that final stretch in my legs making it possible to walk like a fully developed human again. My raw food day went well too, but I lost my mind around 8pm and made a bag of low fat microwave popcorn... Popcorn seems to be my weakness lately. Only 220 calories, but still, not planned.

The cravings I'm having are annoying, to say the least. I think I read somewhere that the body's addiction to the chemicals in processed foods should be broken by 72 hours after ending consumption of the garbage... but I believe it's going to take longer to break the mental addiction to Doritos and cheese dip.

Tonight I have to make a casserole for a dinner my church is hosting at a warming shelter in Ferndale. I'm not looking forward to having to cook and cube chicken and make a creamy sauce when I won't be able to have any of it. My plan for my dinner is roasted potatoes and sauteed mushrooms and onions so, hopefully, the consolation dinner will be enough to make up for smelling the Parmesan cheese on the casserole as it's baking.

I'm happy with my efforts so far, but I'm starting to think the same defeating thoughts that got me up to 218Lbs and I'm getting scared. My mantra lately has been "What do I want to love more, food or my body?"

Week one's meal plan (Fruits and Vegetables only) is more than halfway done and I'll be incorporating beans and legumes into my diet next week.

This isn't easy and it's only getting harder, but it helps to know that I have this blog to come to and that someday I might actually have people who read it. :)

Day 3: Everything Smells Wonderful

Yesterday went well.
I was still unable to walk like a normal 30 year old, but I made it through the day and stuck to my meal plan... sort of. I replaced my intended avocado and tomato salad dinner with about 8 cups of movie theater popcorn (no butter, of course). It turns out, though, that even that much popcorn is only 440 calories so as a meal goes it was ok... but I didn't get my healthy fat in for the day so I won't be able to make a habit of it. Another downside is that I didn't realize how much salt is really in the stuff when it was coated with. I drank about a gallon of water when I got home from the movie.

A couple new things I'm noticing:

• I can smell things a whole lot better. Similar to when I quit smoking, my sense of smell is hightened. So much so that I can smell whatever people are heating up in the microwaves in the cafeteris that is about 60 yards away from my desk.

• I'm excited to be able to work out again. My tiny stint with a sports injury is upsetting, but it's less about having hurt myself and more about not being physically capable of following my workout plan. 

Tonight I intend to do a 20 minute basic pilates workout just to keep things going. I expect to be fully recovered by tomorrow and I plan to tackle the 30 Day Shred again... hopefully this time I'll make it through without hurting myself. I'll definitely be spending more time stretching when the video ends though. :)

As for the meal plan: Today is a new approach. Day 1 I fasted, Day 2 I went with moderation (and popcorn!) today I'm working on a steady flow of raw fruits and vegetables. I'm thinking my body might react better to variety and not just a variety of foods. My hope is that this variety method will keep my metabolism guessing and it's a lot more fun for me. It's also easier for me to stay focused on the little goals if I keep changing the game plan each day. We'll see, huh?

Almost to the half way point of the first week!!! 51 and 1/2 to go!!!

Day 2: Sore and Satisfied

This morning I woke up, still sore from the Jillian Michaels workout I did on Sunday afternoon... I'm not sure if I didn't stretch enough or if I was just way too out of shape for the Beginners Level 1 on the 30 Day Shred video, but I'm feeling pretty shredded and not in the good way.

Needless to say, I won't be working out today... I'm waiting for my torn muscles to heal before damaging them anymore.

Yesterday's meal plan went rather well with the intention of fasting for 24 hours being a success. From 6pm Sunday to 6pm on Monday I drank only water. At 6 on Monday I had a salad with lots of veggies and a fantastic olive oil and garlic dressing. I also broiled some zuchinni and summer squash with a little bit of spray oil and salt and pepper. I was satisfied by the time I finished my salad and was comfortably full after the squash. A few cravings hit after breaking my fast, but determination kept me in check.

For the record, I don't recommend anyone fast without consulting their doctor. The fact is that at 218 lbs I am not putting my body at risk if I choose to fast for a day or two. I've got a lot of stored energy my body can use and I believe fasting to be a biblical and spiritual event. So no worries, I'm no where near anorexia and have no intention of becomming skeletal, I just want to be able to run and wear skirts without my thighs falling apart... probably don't want to do both at the same time, but you get the idea. :)

As for today's meal plan. I'm going to try a consistant approach. I'm having some apples for breakfast, a nice salad with lot's of veggies for lunch and sliced avocado and tomatoes for dinner. I anticipate my physical hunger to be nonexistant, but my mental cravings to be off the charts... Wish me luck!

Day 1: Bravery Required

This is the first full day of my endeavor to lose 100 Lbs by January 3rd 2011.

I am a 30 year old female, 5'2", 218 Lbs. I have been overweight since the age of 13.

My lowest weight in the last 5 years is 192, my highest is 230.

I have tried Weight Watchers, Adkins Diet & Sadkhin Complex and have tried suplemental programs like Alli, Metabolife & Equinox. I gave vegetarianism, veganism & raw foods a whirl and even went a month on nothing but prepackaged foods. As for exercize; there have been countless work out sessions and hours spent on tread mills and elliptical machines with no understanding of what it was even doing for my body. To be perfectly honest I had to have spell check help me out with spelling exercize. My plan is to shake things up with my metabolism. I wnat to take the consistent advice of a few different gurus and mix it with the science of calories in vs. calories out and see what happens. I will update daily with what nutritional method I used and which workout I did and describe hunger, energy, dificulty and what I'm feeling. I will also update every Monday evening with my weight and measurements.

The Food Plan:
Detox by fasting for 1 day
Kick start the calorie reduction by only eating fruits and vegetables for 19 days
Stick to a balanced menu of 1300 calories/day for the remaining days.

The Action Plan:
Sundays, Cross train at the gym 1-4
Mondays, Video: Pilates Basic, 20 min
Tuesdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min
Wednesdays, Video: Pilates Buns & Thighs, 20 min
Thursdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min
Fridays, Video: Pilates Abs, 20 min
Saturdays, Video: Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, 20 min