It's not easy for me to admit I am weak. It makes perfect sense that I would be stubborn though as that is the exact reason I am still tipping the scale at 220+ lbs after two years that started so well...
I failed again, two years running, er... not running. I spent a lot of effort last year to get my health into gear. I really did... you HAVE to believe me...
No, I know, I don't even believe me.
I really want this to be the year. I want to get to a point where it's not all I think about. I want to push the thoughts out of my mind that say, "you can't", "you're too fat", "it won't fit", "you'll get looks"... and especially "no one takes you seriously because you are a fat girl."
You may have heard, "a year from now you're going to wish you started now". I need to change that to, "a year from now you're going to wish you stuck with it now, and the next day, and the next day...".
So, now that I have admitted defeat, shown a desire to make a change, and depressed anyone that reads this, it's time to re-up...
It's not really the third time for me as I have been on some form of a diet since the age of 12 or 13, but I'll say it anyway...
Third time's the charm.
The good news is this. Last year I managed to keep 17 lbs off. I yo-yo'd like a crazy person between 244 and 213 but settled at 227 for year end.
Goal #1 - First Blood: Break under 200 and say goodbye to that damn 2 once and for all.
Goal #2 - Electric Boogaloo: Get back to 170 for the first time since freshman year of high school.
Goal #3 - The Final Stand: Hit between 135-115 (don't freak out on the 115, I'm 5'2") and get my first ever maintenance plan in the works.
I will get one or all of these done this year...
So far, being too tired and watching TV has done NOTHING to get me closer to the finish line. Weird, huh?
I need help with a plan. I've got a kick-start scheduled for the diet portion that will take me through the first quarter of the year, but need to get moving around and need advice wherever I can get it.
Please offer your suggestions and support as you are able.
This will be the year for a change for me! I can feel it!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I've Been Ribboned!
I would have loved to update this on Wednesday morning but I guess my elation was too much to deal with in order to organize a thought… or I was just super slammed at work.
On Tuesday night at my Weight Watcher’s meeting I got the prestigious honor of receiving my “I LOST 10 POUNDS” ribbon!!!
I lost 1.8lbs which put me at an exact 10lb loss since beginning the program late December. I’m very proud of myself for achieving the first of many milestones to come. The next honor is a 5% star sticker (I’ll need to lose 2 more lbs for that one).
I’ve had the week off from school at night which has been great. I’m really looking forward to taking classes online next fall and my semester off next winter. Gladly my summer class is only 8 weeks long so night school will be a memory for as long as I can swing it. I love learning and that I am working toward something, but I definitely hate long hours in a classroom when I could be home, making my healthy lunch for the next day, doing yoga, riding my bike or even chilling out in front of the idiot box to let my mind rest.
Also, I’m right back on track for the challenge between myself, my boyfriend, his dad, his sister, and his friend Jim. I think I could win this thing. I’ve got 3 weeks and 4 days left to put the pedal to the metal!
Oh! On Monday, my roommate and I went to Costco and got a ton of fruit and veggies and all sorts of good stuff to have overflowing one’s pantry. I have made some yummy salads and snacks so far and I’m really loving the variety! Grapes are the best!
Speaking of the idiot box, tonight is Thursday night comedy shows and such (not the official name… I think). I plan to finish up the little bit of homework remaining for Monday’s class and then veg out to some Community, 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, and The Office… Perfect evening for a TV junkie.
On Tuesday night at my Weight Watcher’s meeting I got the prestigious honor of receiving my “I LOST 10 POUNDS” ribbon!!!
I lost 1.8lbs which put me at an exact 10lb loss since beginning the program late December. I’m very proud of myself for achieving the first of many milestones to come. The next honor is a 5% star sticker (I’ll need to lose 2 more lbs for that one).
I’ve had the week off from school at night which has been great. I’m really looking forward to taking classes online next fall and my semester off next winter. Gladly my summer class is only 8 weeks long so night school will be a memory for as long as I can swing it. I love learning and that I am working toward something, but I definitely hate long hours in a classroom when I could be home, making my healthy lunch for the next day, doing yoga, riding my bike or even chilling out in front of the idiot box to let my mind rest.
Also, I’m right back on track for the challenge between myself, my boyfriend, his dad, his sister, and his friend Jim. I think I could win this thing. I’ve got 3 weeks and 4 days left to put the pedal to the metal!
Oh! On Monday, my roommate and I went to Costco and got a ton of fruit and veggies and all sorts of good stuff to have overflowing one’s pantry. I have made some yummy salads and snacks so far and I’m really loving the variety! Grapes are the best!
Speaking of the idiot box, tonight is Thursday night comedy shows and such (not the official name… I think). I plan to finish up the little bit of homework remaining for Monday’s class and then veg out to some Community, 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, and The Office… Perfect evening for a TV junkie.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Keep Getting Back Up!
For all my inner fighting and minor victories, I was KO'd by another 1.8 lbs over the course of the last week.
I'm pissed.
I ate a poached egg and a toasted english muffin at Mae's instead of one of their cheesy, delicious looking omelets thinking I was doing so well.
I'm sure the giant forkful of Nutella stuffed crepes didn't help the cause, but I remain pissed nonetheless.
I retaliated (against who?) last night and ate a cheesy, baconey, chicken club with french fries at Bob Evan's... and immediately felt sick and nauseated.
I'm back to writing everything down again, but I refuse to be happy about it! :)
It's very easy for me to get off track when I pretend there isn't a track at all... weird.
This week I am writing down every bite, taste, pinch, spoon and bit of food that I eat and using the Weight Watchers system to a T...
There is no quitting, there's no giving up, there's no lying down in the face of a fight. Goal #1 is still in the works and I will achieve it.
10lbs total and/or 5% down by next week. That's a 2.2 - 4.2 lb goal.
Wish me willpower!
I'm pissed.
I ate a poached egg and a toasted english muffin at Mae's instead of one of their cheesy, delicious looking omelets thinking I was doing so well.
I'm sure the giant forkful of Nutella stuffed crepes didn't help the cause, but I remain pissed nonetheless.
I retaliated (against who?) last night and ate a cheesy, baconey, chicken club with french fries at Bob Evan's... and immediately felt sick and nauseated.
I'm back to writing everything down again, but I refuse to be happy about it! :)
It's very easy for me to get off track when I pretend there isn't a track at all... weird.
This week I am writing down every bite, taste, pinch, spoon and bit of food that I eat and using the Weight Watchers system to a T...
There is no quitting, there's no giving up, there's no lying down in the face of a fight. Goal #1 is still in the works and I will achieve it.
10lbs total and/or 5% down by next week. That's a 2.2 - 4.2 lb goal.
Wish me willpower!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I Choo- Choo- Choose You!
Valentine’s Day. Sigh :) … My amazing and thoughtful boyfriend got me roses and chocolates and took me out to dinner at Katana (Hibachi) in Royal Oak. I had the first true Valentine of my life and had a great time celebrating a corporate, Hallmark holiday that was originally a giant pagan orgy, but that the church replaced with an homage to a saint (in the style of nixing the pagan winter solstice festivals and putting Jesus’ birthday in its place)... Anyway, this year’s corporate, Hallmark, former pagan orgy, now homage to a saint was well celebrated and I was extremely blessed to spend it with Bryan.
On to the topic of the weight loss (kinda the theme of this blog, so I guess it must be mentioned). My mission to lose a mere 0.2 lbs last week was thwarted by dinners out, pizza and enjoying the aforementioned chocolates. I came out less scathed than I thought I would and have a gain of only… 0.2 lbs on record at Weight Watchers. My new mission is to lose at least 0.4 lbs by next Tuesday’s meeting so I can get that shiny blue ribbon announcing the news of a 10 lb weight loss! I am also fairly close to my 5% goal and would like to receive both honors that night, but I’ll be focusing mainly on the baby steps right now.
I do like that WWs new program encourages it’s members to be “normal” with their eating. Not necessarily the normal that got us to be overweight, but the normal that goes out to eat, doesn’t feel starvation, deprivation, or an overabundance of want, want, WANT!!! The normal that has a small piece of birthday cake and doesn’t feel the need to take the rest of it and chow down when no one is watching (because the calories don’t count if no one sees you eating, right?)
On that note, I am experiencing a lot of old cravings and habits trying to climb back into my daily routine. I’m fighting with my inner eater nearly every time I get in the car. Here’s a sample of the conversations I have in my head:
Eater Mel: I want a cheeseburger
Determined Mel: No, you can have a black bean burger for dinner.
EM: I want McDonald’s Breakfast… I’ll be extra good with lunch and dinner!
DM: No you won’t, you’re going to want garbage for lunch and you’ll make yourself sick.
EM: I need some veggies from the grocery store to make salads tonight… and I need some taquitos, and some cheese dip, and some Potato Skins!!!
DM: NOOOOOOOOO!
EM: Ok… then… how about… chicken nuggets?
DM: …
EM: Fries?
DM: …
EM: Nachos Supreme?
DM: … No.
EM: I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT!!!
EM is about 6 years old, I think… aaaaaaand now I feel crazy.
I’m in need of support and prayers to get over this first hurdle. Thanks for whatever positive reinforcement you can offer.
Until next time…
On to the topic of the weight loss (kinda the theme of this blog, so I guess it must be mentioned). My mission to lose a mere 0.2 lbs last week was thwarted by dinners out, pizza and enjoying the aforementioned chocolates. I came out less scathed than I thought I would and have a gain of only… 0.2 lbs on record at Weight Watchers. My new mission is to lose at least 0.4 lbs by next Tuesday’s meeting so I can get that shiny blue ribbon announcing the news of a 10 lb weight loss! I am also fairly close to my 5% goal and would like to receive both honors that night, but I’ll be focusing mainly on the baby steps right now.
I do like that WWs new program encourages it’s members to be “normal” with their eating. Not necessarily the normal that got us to be overweight, but the normal that goes out to eat, doesn’t feel starvation, deprivation, or an overabundance of want, want, WANT!!! The normal that has a small piece of birthday cake and doesn’t feel the need to take the rest of it and chow down when no one is watching (because the calories don’t count if no one sees you eating, right?)
On that note, I am experiencing a lot of old cravings and habits trying to climb back into my daily routine. I’m fighting with my inner eater nearly every time I get in the car. Here’s a sample of the conversations I have in my head:
Eater Mel: I want a cheeseburger
Determined Mel: No, you can have a black bean burger for dinner.
EM: I want McDonald’s Breakfast… I’ll be extra good with lunch and dinner!
DM: No you won’t, you’re going to want garbage for lunch and you’ll make yourself sick.
EM: I need some veggies from the grocery store to make salads tonight… and I need some taquitos, and some cheese dip, and some Potato Skins!!!
DM: NOOOOOOOOO!
EM: Ok… then… how about… chicken nuggets?
DM: …
EM: Fries?
DM: …
EM: Nachos Supreme?
DM: … No.
EM: I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT!!!
EM is about 6 years old, I think… aaaaaaand now I feel crazy.
I’m in need of support and prayers to get over this first hurdle. Thanks for whatever positive reinforcement you can offer.
Until next time…
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What a Bunch of Dum Dums...
I was going to call this post "Ya'll can suck it" because it's hilarious, but I didn't want ya'll to think I meant ya'll... I mean them all... the'all?
The people I work with have been enjoying an assortment of Dum Dums brand lollipops provided by yours truly. There are a couple people that never said boo to me before that now stop by my desk a couple times a day for a sugar dose and to chat. I find it interesting and kinda weird. It’s a good thing there are no chocolate flavored Dum Dums or I’d be in trouble with calories...
As it stands, I officially lost 2.8 more lbs and am cruising right along!!!
I’m amazed at how little time I have even though I’m only working 40 hours/week (no overtime) and have 3 less credit hours this semester than the last. I haven’t been to the chiropractor in months and I’m really feeling, in my mid-back, that it’s time to make it happen.
Speaking of school, I hate Algebra. It’s the devil. My cruddy start to this class has only slightly effected my health goals... usually I’d turn to greasy fried things for comfort for my woes of feeling stupid because I can't remember how write an equation to find the slope of a line, but light popcorn has been a perfect food consolation so far. Studying and being better prepared will certainly replace mindless munching on even such a light snack. My boyfriend is going to help me get it in gear starting Friday with a study session to reinforce the foundation of Algebra!
Overall, I'm healthier everyday, happier everyday, and glad that I started this journey (over) when I did. I'm 9.8 lbs lighter today than I was on December 28th 2010 and I'm very excited to see, and feel, the difference as I continue toward my goal of 100lbs in one year.
The people I work with have been enjoying an assortment of Dum Dums brand lollipops provided by yours truly. There are a couple people that never said boo to me before that now stop by my desk a couple times a day for a sugar dose and to chat. I find it interesting and kinda weird. It’s a good thing there are no chocolate flavored Dum Dums or I’d be in trouble with calories...
As it stands, I officially lost 2.8 more lbs and am cruising right along!!!
I’m amazed at how little time I have even though I’m only working 40 hours/week (no overtime) and have 3 less credit hours this semester than the last. I haven’t been to the chiropractor in months and I’m really feeling, in my mid-back, that it’s time to make it happen.
Speaking of school, I hate Algebra. It’s the devil. My cruddy start to this class has only slightly effected my health goals... usually I’d turn to greasy fried things for comfort for my woes of feeling stupid because I can't remember how write an equation to find the slope of a line, but light popcorn has been a perfect food consolation so far. Studying and being better prepared will certainly replace mindless munching on even such a light snack. My boyfriend is going to help me get it in gear starting Friday with a study session to reinforce the foundation of Algebra!
Overall, I'm healthier everyday, happier everyday, and glad that I started this journey (over) when I did. I'm 9.8 lbs lighter today than I was on December 28th 2010 and I'm very excited to see, and feel, the difference as I continue toward my goal of 100lbs in one year.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Snow, Ice and Everything Nice
Thanks to the snow storm we were promised (and only half delivered) on Tuesday night, I missed weigh in at Weight Watchers and for the Challenge. I did weigh myself at home and I lost about 2-ish lbs (woohoo!) but don't get to count it officially until there are witnesses. :)
Yoga last night was super hard! My instructor told us we are going to have a session with a really hard type of yoga (I forgot what it's called) by the end of the semester... I'm not looking forward to it because I consider downward facing dog to be super hard and don't really want to know what's more challenging, but I'm going to try it anyway. I'll just do my best. That's all I can do, right?
I'm going to try to practice the things I learn in class a little more often, like when I'm at home just watching TV. I feel like this may be the key to my weight issues and that it's unlocking an inner energy that will make all the difference to my future... or it just feels really good to get stronger and better at holding the crazy poses... either, way... good stuff for me.
I want to eat everything in sight so it must mean it's about that time to go stark raving mad for a few days on hormones and mood swings!!! Hooray!!! I have found a suitable cure for chocolate cravings. Rather than going nuts on the vending machine I have a small container of semi-sweet morsels at my desk. If I'm hurting for a delicious chocolatey burst, a couple of those low calorie bits will do the trick. I just need to figure out how to tackle chips and pretzel cravings without eating one of everything in the snack aisle at CVS. :)
Yoga last night was super hard! My instructor told us we are going to have a session with a really hard type of yoga (I forgot what it's called) by the end of the semester... I'm not looking forward to it because I consider downward facing dog to be super hard and don't really want to know what's more challenging, but I'm going to try it anyway. I'll just do my best. That's all I can do, right?
I'm going to try to practice the things I learn in class a little more often, like when I'm at home just watching TV. I feel like this may be the key to my weight issues and that it's unlocking an inner energy that will make all the difference to my future... or it just feels really good to get stronger and better at holding the crazy poses... either, way... good stuff for me.
I want to eat everything in sight so it must mean it's about that time to go stark raving mad for a few days on hormones and mood swings!!! Hooray!!! I have found a suitable cure for chocolate cravings. Rather than going nuts on the vending machine I have a small container of semi-sweet morsels at my desk. If I'm hurting for a delicious chocolatey burst, a couple of those low calorie bits will do the trick. I just need to figure out how to tackle chips and pretzel cravings without eating one of everything in the snack aisle at CVS. :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Speed Bumps & You
I gained weight!!! Oh my gosh!!! I gained 0.6lbs according to Weight Watchers… (and lost 0.2 according to the challenge weigh in, it’s on the same night as WW… hm…)
I realize it’s a tiny amount to gain, but it’s also a missed opportunity to lose my 1-2 lbs/week so it’s worth serious consideration. I did, however, enjoy every minute of gaining weight this week as I had an Italian Feast on Saturday for some friends and we all left feeling well fed on pasta, Cesar salad, olives, sausage, breaded steak, chicken parmesan and cannoli!. I could attribute the small gain (rather than a huge one) to the fact that a sudden flu knocked me on my butt from Sunday morning through Tuesday night. Fever and body aches really take the appetite right out of a girl. I will say that I feel lucky to have only gained 0.6lbs… but I do need to kick it into high gear soon because I am trailing my boyfriend in the challenge and I want to win!!!
I’m grateful for the job I have because it allows me structure to make sure I’m getting my liquids in and I have accountability here to keep me away from the vending machines and a huge fridge to store my salads and healthy snacks…
Oh! Yoga!!! Did I mention yoga is a bazillion times harder than it looks? We learned to stand, sit, do table pose, and downward facing dog… all of it was really a workout (albeit a sweat-less one) but down-dog was sooooooo freaking hard! Especially going from table to down-dog… my toes do NOT bend backward. I’m told it gets easier, but that was by people that aren’t trying to balance 235lbs on their teeny tiny hands and feet… I’m sticking with it, mainly for the PE credit, but I probably will not continue to take it if I don’t actually get better (stronger) by the end of the semester.
Good week all-in-all, even counting being so sick I couldn’t sleep. I feel so much better today and am hopeful that tonight’s yoga class will leave me with a sense of accomplishment and growth.
See you all next week.
I realize it’s a tiny amount to gain, but it’s also a missed opportunity to lose my 1-2 lbs/week so it’s worth serious consideration. I did, however, enjoy every minute of gaining weight this week as I had an Italian Feast on Saturday for some friends and we all left feeling well fed on pasta, Cesar salad, olives, sausage, breaded steak, chicken parmesan and cannoli!. I could attribute the small gain (rather than a huge one) to the fact that a sudden flu knocked me on my butt from Sunday morning through Tuesday night. Fever and body aches really take the appetite right out of a girl. I will say that I feel lucky to have only gained 0.6lbs… but I do need to kick it into high gear soon because I am trailing my boyfriend in the challenge and I want to win!!!
I’m grateful for the job I have because it allows me structure to make sure I’m getting my liquids in and I have accountability here to keep me away from the vending machines and a huge fridge to store my salads and healthy snacks…
Oh! Yoga!!! Did I mention yoga is a bazillion times harder than it looks? We learned to stand, sit, do table pose, and downward facing dog… all of it was really a workout (albeit a sweat-less one) but down-dog was sooooooo freaking hard! Especially going from table to down-dog… my toes do NOT bend backward. I’m told it gets easier, but that was by people that aren’t trying to balance 235lbs on their teeny tiny hands and feet… I’m sticking with it, mainly for the PE credit, but I probably will not continue to take it if I don’t actually get better (stronger) by the end of the semester.
Good week all-in-all, even counting being so sick I couldn’t sleep. I feel so much better today and am hopeful that tonight’s yoga class will leave me with a sense of accomplishment and growth.
See you all next week.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Drink up!
Howdy folks!
I lost 4 lbs according to my weigh in at Weight Watchers last night!!! Woooo Hoooo!!!
My weekly target is 1.5 to 2 lbs and as of last night I am averaging 2.5 lbs/week!
The new program they have is inexplicably better than any program I have tried. I feel like I can eat anything I want (in moderation, of course) and I have enough points to play around with "regular" ingredients for meals... no fat free cheese for me! (it's disgusting, btw)
I'm not sure if it's the dry weather or the new health kick talking but I've been super thirsty for the last couple weeks... and I already drink a LOT of water. On program they want you to shoot for 6 glasses/day, but I've been doing 8 mandatory glasses of water or unsweetened tea before 5pm and then guzzling down another 2-4 glasses each night. Either way, it seems to be helping out the whole goal thing.
The challenge is going well as a result of my WW success, though boyfriend is beating the crap out of me and all other contenders. He's down below 190 and I'm really impressed... good job you jerk! :)
Yoga officially starts tomorrow night, as the first class was just talking about the semester ahead... I'm very excited to see what it can do for me mentally and physically.
All in all I am positive, persevering and pumped!
I lost 4 lbs according to my weigh in at Weight Watchers last night!!! Woooo Hoooo!!!
My weekly target is 1.5 to 2 lbs and as of last night I am averaging 2.5 lbs/week!
The new program they have is inexplicably better than any program I have tried. I feel like I can eat anything I want (in moderation, of course) and I have enough points to play around with "regular" ingredients for meals... no fat free cheese for me! (it's disgusting, btw)
I'm not sure if it's the dry weather or the new health kick talking but I've been super thirsty for the last couple weeks... and I already drink a LOT of water. On program they want you to shoot for 6 glasses/day, but I've been doing 8 mandatory glasses of water or unsweetened tea before 5pm and then guzzling down another 2-4 glasses each night. Either way, it seems to be helping out the whole goal thing.
The challenge is going well as a result of my WW success, though boyfriend is beating the crap out of me and all other contenders. He's down below 190 and I'm really impressed... good job you jerk! :)
Yoga officially starts tomorrow night, as the first class was just talking about the semester ahead... I'm very excited to see what it can do for me mentally and physically.
All in all I am positive, persevering and pumped!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Starting Over From Scratch
It's been over a year since I began my first attempt at my year long 100 pound challenge. I did not achieve my goal. I added 20lbs to the cause...
What else is there to do but START OVER?
That's right, I'm starting over... I'm not giving up the fight... The 100lbs in a year challenge is on!
I actually started the challenge on 12/28/10, but realized that it'd be a good idea to update the blog so I have a reference to go back to as I go along.
So far:
I started at 242lbs on 12/28/10
I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/4/11 at 239.2lbs
That's a loss of 2.8lbs!!!
I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/11/11 at 238.4lbs
That's another 0.8lbs!!!
I am following the Weight Watcher's PointsPlus program and taking a weekly yoga class (for school credit) as well as walking and doing pilates whenever possible.
I'm also, independently, competing with my boyfriend and his dad, sister and best friend for a cash prize of $300 for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight in 12 weeks, so that's a big kick in the pants as well.
With God, my family, loved ones, and new found will on my side, by 12/30/2011, I will weigh 140lbs.
Keep checking back as I update at least once a week with my progress!!!
What else is there to do but START OVER?
That's right, I'm starting over... I'm not giving up the fight... The 100lbs in a year challenge is on!
I actually started the challenge on 12/28/10, but realized that it'd be a good idea to update the blog so I have a reference to go back to as I go along.
So far:
I started at 242lbs on 12/28/10
I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/4/11 at 239.2lbs
That's a loss of 2.8lbs!!!
I weighed in at Weight Watchers on 1/11/11 at 238.4lbs
That's another 0.8lbs!!!
I am following the Weight Watcher's PointsPlus program and taking a weekly yoga class (for school credit) as well as walking and doing pilates whenever possible.
I'm also, independently, competing with my boyfriend and his dad, sister and best friend for a cash prize of $300 for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight in 12 weeks, so that's a big kick in the pants as well.
With God, my family, loved ones, and new found will on my side, by 12/30/2011, I will weigh 140lbs.
Keep checking back as I update at least once a week with my progress!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)