For all my inner fighting and minor victories, I was KO'd by another 1.8 lbs over the course of the last week.
I'm pissed.
I ate a poached egg and a toasted english muffin at Mae's instead of one of their cheesy, delicious looking omelets thinking I was doing so well.
I'm sure the giant forkful of Nutella stuffed crepes didn't help the cause, but I remain pissed nonetheless.
I retaliated (against who?) last night and ate a cheesy, baconey, chicken club with french fries at Bob Evan's... and immediately felt sick and nauseated.
I'm back to writing everything down again, but I refuse to be happy about it! :)
It's very easy for me to get off track when I pretend there isn't a track at all... weird.
This week I am writing down every bite, taste, pinch, spoon and bit of food that I eat and using the Weight Watchers system to a T...
There is no quitting, there's no giving up, there's no lying down in the face of a fight. Goal #1 is still in the works and I will achieve it.
10lbs total and/or 5% down by next week. That's a 2.2 - 4.2 lb goal.
Wish me willpower!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I Choo- Choo- Choose You!
Valentine’s Day. Sigh :) … My amazing and thoughtful boyfriend got me roses and chocolates and took me out to dinner at Katana (Hibachi) in Royal Oak. I had the first true Valentine of my life and had a great time celebrating a corporate, Hallmark holiday that was originally a giant pagan orgy, but that the church replaced with an homage to a saint (in the style of nixing the pagan winter solstice festivals and putting Jesus’ birthday in its place)... Anyway, this year’s corporate, Hallmark, former pagan orgy, now homage to a saint was well celebrated and I was extremely blessed to spend it with Bryan.
On to the topic of the weight loss (kinda the theme of this blog, so I guess it must be mentioned). My mission to lose a mere 0.2 lbs last week was thwarted by dinners out, pizza and enjoying the aforementioned chocolates. I came out less scathed than I thought I would and have a gain of only… 0.2 lbs on record at Weight Watchers. My new mission is to lose at least 0.4 lbs by next Tuesday’s meeting so I can get that shiny blue ribbon announcing the news of a 10 lb weight loss! I am also fairly close to my 5% goal and would like to receive both honors that night, but I’ll be focusing mainly on the baby steps right now.
I do like that WWs new program encourages it’s members to be “normal” with their eating. Not necessarily the normal that got us to be overweight, but the normal that goes out to eat, doesn’t feel starvation, deprivation, or an overabundance of want, want, WANT!!! The normal that has a small piece of birthday cake and doesn’t feel the need to take the rest of it and chow down when no one is watching (because the calories don’t count if no one sees you eating, right?)
On that note, I am experiencing a lot of old cravings and habits trying to climb back into my daily routine. I’m fighting with my inner eater nearly every time I get in the car. Here’s a sample of the conversations I have in my head:
Eater Mel: I want a cheeseburger
Determined Mel: No, you can have a black bean burger for dinner.
EM: I want McDonald’s Breakfast… I’ll be extra good with lunch and dinner!
DM: No you won’t, you’re going to want garbage for lunch and you’ll make yourself sick.
EM: I need some veggies from the grocery store to make salads tonight… and I need some taquitos, and some cheese dip, and some Potato Skins!!!
DM: NOOOOOOOOO!
EM: Ok… then… how about… chicken nuggets?
DM: …
EM: Fries?
DM: …
EM: Nachos Supreme?
DM: … No.
EM: I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT!!!
EM is about 6 years old, I think… aaaaaaand now I feel crazy.
I’m in need of support and prayers to get over this first hurdle. Thanks for whatever positive reinforcement you can offer.
Until next time…
On to the topic of the weight loss (kinda the theme of this blog, so I guess it must be mentioned). My mission to lose a mere 0.2 lbs last week was thwarted by dinners out, pizza and enjoying the aforementioned chocolates. I came out less scathed than I thought I would and have a gain of only… 0.2 lbs on record at Weight Watchers. My new mission is to lose at least 0.4 lbs by next Tuesday’s meeting so I can get that shiny blue ribbon announcing the news of a 10 lb weight loss! I am also fairly close to my 5% goal and would like to receive both honors that night, but I’ll be focusing mainly on the baby steps right now.
I do like that WWs new program encourages it’s members to be “normal” with their eating. Not necessarily the normal that got us to be overweight, but the normal that goes out to eat, doesn’t feel starvation, deprivation, or an overabundance of want, want, WANT!!! The normal that has a small piece of birthday cake and doesn’t feel the need to take the rest of it and chow down when no one is watching (because the calories don’t count if no one sees you eating, right?)
On that note, I am experiencing a lot of old cravings and habits trying to climb back into my daily routine. I’m fighting with my inner eater nearly every time I get in the car. Here’s a sample of the conversations I have in my head:
Eater Mel: I want a cheeseburger
Determined Mel: No, you can have a black bean burger for dinner.
EM: I want McDonald’s Breakfast… I’ll be extra good with lunch and dinner!
DM: No you won’t, you’re going to want garbage for lunch and you’ll make yourself sick.
EM: I need some veggies from the grocery store to make salads tonight… and I need some taquitos, and some cheese dip, and some Potato Skins!!!
DM: NOOOOOOOOO!
EM: Ok… then… how about… chicken nuggets?
DM: …
EM: Fries?
DM: …
EM: Nachos Supreme?
DM: … No.
EM: I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT!!!
EM is about 6 years old, I think… aaaaaaand now I feel crazy.
I’m in need of support and prayers to get over this first hurdle. Thanks for whatever positive reinforcement you can offer.
Until next time…
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What a Bunch of Dum Dums...
I was going to call this post "Ya'll can suck it" because it's hilarious, but I didn't want ya'll to think I meant ya'll... I mean them all... the'all?
The people I work with have been enjoying an assortment of Dum Dums brand lollipops provided by yours truly. There are a couple people that never said boo to me before that now stop by my desk a couple times a day for a sugar dose and to chat. I find it interesting and kinda weird. It’s a good thing there are no chocolate flavored Dum Dums or I’d be in trouble with calories...
As it stands, I officially lost 2.8 more lbs and am cruising right along!!!
I’m amazed at how little time I have even though I’m only working 40 hours/week (no overtime) and have 3 less credit hours this semester than the last. I haven’t been to the chiropractor in months and I’m really feeling, in my mid-back, that it’s time to make it happen.
Speaking of school, I hate Algebra. It’s the devil. My cruddy start to this class has only slightly effected my health goals... usually I’d turn to greasy fried things for comfort for my woes of feeling stupid because I can't remember how write an equation to find the slope of a line, but light popcorn has been a perfect food consolation so far. Studying and being better prepared will certainly replace mindless munching on even such a light snack. My boyfriend is going to help me get it in gear starting Friday with a study session to reinforce the foundation of Algebra!
Overall, I'm healthier everyday, happier everyday, and glad that I started this journey (over) when I did. I'm 9.8 lbs lighter today than I was on December 28th 2010 and I'm very excited to see, and feel, the difference as I continue toward my goal of 100lbs in one year.
The people I work with have been enjoying an assortment of Dum Dums brand lollipops provided by yours truly. There are a couple people that never said boo to me before that now stop by my desk a couple times a day for a sugar dose and to chat. I find it interesting and kinda weird. It’s a good thing there are no chocolate flavored Dum Dums or I’d be in trouble with calories...
As it stands, I officially lost 2.8 more lbs and am cruising right along!!!
I’m amazed at how little time I have even though I’m only working 40 hours/week (no overtime) and have 3 less credit hours this semester than the last. I haven’t been to the chiropractor in months and I’m really feeling, in my mid-back, that it’s time to make it happen.
Speaking of school, I hate Algebra. It’s the devil. My cruddy start to this class has only slightly effected my health goals... usually I’d turn to greasy fried things for comfort for my woes of feeling stupid because I can't remember how write an equation to find the slope of a line, but light popcorn has been a perfect food consolation so far. Studying and being better prepared will certainly replace mindless munching on even such a light snack. My boyfriend is going to help me get it in gear starting Friday with a study session to reinforce the foundation of Algebra!
Overall, I'm healthier everyday, happier everyday, and glad that I started this journey (over) when I did. I'm 9.8 lbs lighter today than I was on December 28th 2010 and I'm very excited to see, and feel, the difference as I continue toward my goal of 100lbs in one year.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Snow, Ice and Everything Nice
Thanks to the snow storm we were promised (and only half delivered) on Tuesday night, I missed weigh in at Weight Watchers and for the Challenge. I did weigh myself at home and I lost about 2-ish lbs (woohoo!) but don't get to count it officially until there are witnesses. :)
Yoga last night was super hard! My instructor told us we are going to have a session with a really hard type of yoga (I forgot what it's called) by the end of the semester... I'm not looking forward to it because I consider downward facing dog to be super hard and don't really want to know what's more challenging, but I'm going to try it anyway. I'll just do my best. That's all I can do, right?
I'm going to try to practice the things I learn in class a little more often, like when I'm at home just watching TV. I feel like this may be the key to my weight issues and that it's unlocking an inner energy that will make all the difference to my future... or it just feels really good to get stronger and better at holding the crazy poses... either, way... good stuff for me.
I want to eat everything in sight so it must mean it's about that time to go stark raving mad for a few days on hormones and mood swings!!! Hooray!!! I have found a suitable cure for chocolate cravings. Rather than going nuts on the vending machine I have a small container of semi-sweet morsels at my desk. If I'm hurting for a delicious chocolatey burst, a couple of those low calorie bits will do the trick. I just need to figure out how to tackle chips and pretzel cravings without eating one of everything in the snack aisle at CVS. :)
Yoga last night was super hard! My instructor told us we are going to have a session with a really hard type of yoga (I forgot what it's called) by the end of the semester... I'm not looking forward to it because I consider downward facing dog to be super hard and don't really want to know what's more challenging, but I'm going to try it anyway. I'll just do my best. That's all I can do, right?
I'm going to try to practice the things I learn in class a little more often, like when I'm at home just watching TV. I feel like this may be the key to my weight issues and that it's unlocking an inner energy that will make all the difference to my future... or it just feels really good to get stronger and better at holding the crazy poses... either, way... good stuff for me.
I want to eat everything in sight so it must mean it's about that time to go stark raving mad for a few days on hormones and mood swings!!! Hooray!!! I have found a suitable cure for chocolate cravings. Rather than going nuts on the vending machine I have a small container of semi-sweet morsels at my desk. If I'm hurting for a delicious chocolatey burst, a couple of those low calorie bits will do the trick. I just need to figure out how to tackle chips and pretzel cravings without eating one of everything in the snack aisle at CVS. :)
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