Whole30 Day 30 Every planet has its own weird customs. Some people juggle geese!

I made it!!! Day 30 of another successful Whole30!!!

Now, I need to keep this way of eating going... This was not hard... the first few days were challenging, but once things were rolling, I had little issue keeping up the pace.

I've got to stick to this breakthrough and not let go of it... not again...

I wasn't always a chubby girl. In fact, I used to be "tiny", "petite", "Smurfette"...

I had little sticks for legs and had (and still have) noticeably dainty hands and feet... so, naturally all I wanted in the whole world was to be big. I wanted to be tall and have boobs and be popular... and now... 

Now, my one wish is to be small again. Not just for the change in tough choices going back to "jungle gym or swings?", but literally... 

I would sit with my hands folded and hunch my shoulders over to appear to be smaller... or bring my knees into my chest and put my head down so I was invisible in my mind. This posture has led me down a road of feeling less than acceptable as a body (or a personality). 

I don't want anyone to see how big I am. 

There are a couple of problems right there. 

1. Why do I care about what others think? 
• Was middle school that scarring that I think some stranger at a bar is going to come up to me, point at my stomach, and ask loud enough for the whole place to hear if I want some butter to go with my rolls?!?!?
2. Even if someone did say something audibly enough for me to hear it, intentionally or otherwise, why is their opinion more important to me that my own?
• When did I decide that someone that does not know me is more qualified to judge me than I am? Perhaps, it is because I think a stranger is more likely to be honest than a friend or my husband... but that makes little sense the more I think about it.

I am accepting the likelihood that affirmations could be a big help to me to get through the roadblocks I face each day, therefore, I am going to start giving myself some love Stuart Smalley style...

Daily Affirmation

So-

I am good enough

I am smart enough

and doggone it, people like me!

... er... maybe I'll make up my own?

I love myself unconditionally...

I'm stronger today, than I was yesterday; and tomorrow, I'll be stronger still...

I deserve good things...

Now for records...

Food:

Lunch-
Big Salad w/Roast Turkey & Olives

Dinner-

Grilled Chicken w/Roasted Potatoes & Salad

Stats:

Starting Line-

Whole30 Day 1 - 254 lbs

254 lbs
Size 20 jeans 
Constant back pain
Regular heartburn and belching
Pressure headaches nearly everyday
Always tired
Knees clicking going up stairs
Exercise induced asthma





Finish Line-

Whole30 Day 31 - 239 lbs

239 lbs
Size 18 jeans getting loose
Occasional, mild back ache
No heartburn 
No headaches 
Rarely tired and sleep more soundly
Rosacea clearing up
Knees still clicking going up stairs, but not as loud

Ramble on...

Whole30 Day 29 Get you close enough to ring the doorbell.

Sometimes I feel like I just repeat myself here. Like, how excited I am that the Whole30 is ending, and how proud I am of myself for sticking to it, and how great I feel, and how much better my clothes fit... Those are the things on my mind now though, so I can't help but shout from the mountain top and enjoy the echo. 

I found my old pictures. I thought I lost a ton of  pictures I had on my old digital camera and I was so upset, because these pictures were from a time way before I met Bryan... back when I first lost a bunch of weight (I got down to 192), started internet dating (so many selfies!) and moved into my first flat (in Royal Oak)...

I remember thinking I was still so fat, so ugly... I was not... I was curvy, but super cute... What adventures did I deny myself because I had such a poor image of myself in my mind?

I also found old pictures of myself chronicling my ascent to the weight I currently record... 

Then I got my first iPhone which captured the pictures I've had safely on my drive for years... these photos show meeting and starting to date Bryan... and the resulting 15 lbs I put on in our 4 year courtship before our wedding.

I am sad that my wedding pictures will never look as good as I wanted them to because I couldn't get myself to take this approach when we got engaged in December 2013... or even this time last year... but I do feel lucky to have some pretty amazing "before" shots :)

So many of those photos are of sad men and women missing out on life, but mine are of me and my favorite person being so happy and in love and dressed up all pretty like... I love it! When I get to where I'm going size-wise, I think I want to see if I can get my dress altered and have anniversary pictures taken...

Hey, look at that, I found something new to talk about after all...



Lunch-
Steak & Asparagus Frittata w/Roasted Potatoes & Carrot Sticks

Dinner-
Salmon Garden Salad 



Ramble On...

Whole30 Day 28 It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind!.

Apple slices with almond butter, black coffee, broiled flank steak, roasted cauliflower... 

All of these things sounded just okay before. 

I'd have preferred toast and peanut butter, iced coffee with cream and artificial sweetener, a cheese burger and fries...

Now, it's just how I eat, it's the top of the list of things I like. 

I'd still rather have ranch dressing than oil & vinegar, so I'll have the ranch, in moderation. If it makes chomping down a bunch of leafy greens and veggies so much more pleasant, it is a worthy concession to make. 

And I'll still use cheese and breadcrumbs in my cooking on occasion, but only when the flavor is better enhanced with those ingredients than with the suggested Paleo substitutes.

Last night I was thinking how I could make a meal plan and allow pizza once a month, and cheeseburgers w/fries, and giant burritos from Chipotle, and I got to a point where the spiral was rolling on and on and filling up all of my meal slots... and then I realized... 

My next big hurdle isn't my weight loss goal or the ability to cross my legs when seated; it's not having to plan every meal ahead of time so that no huge detours get in my way. 

This one will take time, and other milestones will be reached along the way, but the moment I feel that I have been unconsciously choosing healthy meals over fast and easy garbage food... that's when I know I've broken the cycle... and I know I'm well on my way.

Two more days until results!



Lunch-
Cherry Pecan Salad w/Grilled Steak & Blue Cheese Dressing

Dinner-
Chopped Steak w/Burnt Onions & Bacon, Broccoli & Roasted Cauliflower



Ramble On...

Whole30 Day 27 It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

I can't believe I have come this far... Maybe it's the time of year, because the last time I made it through to the end was in the fall, but I'm so glad I could get myself to this point.

Yes, there are three more days to get through... and I know this is not the end of Paleo, or even super strict Paleo for me, but I'm so proud of myself I could just burst.

I had been feeling kinda bloated and icky for a couple days and was starting to lose focus on the purpose of the challenge and obsess over the weight loss part, but I woke up this morning feeling a lot better, so I'll chalk all of that up to having been so sick for the last week and my body retaining water in self defense... 

Not that the weight loss thing isn't major, but I really try to make sure I don't make that the point of this. I needed a serious overhaul to my relationship with food in order to make permanent changes that will make a healthy life come naturally. I got so tired of the struggle, and the fads, and crash diets, and meetings, and money, and pills, and drops, and gimmicks...
My brother is coming over for dinner tonight. I haven't seen him in a good long while so I'm kinda hoping he'll notice how much I have lost... though he is a guy, so he probably wouldn't notice unless I was suddenly a size zero... and on fire... :)



Lunch-
Fajita Chicken w/Peppers & Avocado
Dinner-
Grilled Sesame Chicken w/Carrots & Peppers



Ramble On...

Whole30 Day 26 Now I'm learning about scary!

I feel gross today... like bloated and gross... thinking back on what I ate yesterday, I can't figure out what brought this on.

Maybe it's just the weather. Maybe it's a part of my cycle.

I have no idea.

I am very excited that the official run of this Whole30 ends on Saturday, but I think I'm most excited about what comes after. 

I've got a whole new appreciation for real food and I am looking forward to continuing this way of eating. It just is. 

I don't need bread, sweets, cheese...

Well, sometimes I do very much want those things, but the point is I don't NEED them, and that is a wonderful revelation.



Lunch-
Meatloaf w/Mashed Potatoes & Salad

Dinner-
Mediterranean Carry Out - Chicken Kabobs, Grilled Squash & Salad



Ramble On...

Whole30 Days 23-25 Who's flying this thing!? Oh right, that would be me.

Wow, what a weekend... and not in the exciting way. As you may know, I have been terribly sick with a seasonal cold that had my chest hurting just to breathe. I feel about 80% better today, but this weekend was a rough one. 

It was hard to stay on the rails of the Whole30 train with this. Most medications contain sweeteners of some sort and tea  and water can only do so much to keep a sore throat soothed. I need to figure out a lozenge solution if I come across this issue in the future because all I wanted was the mentho-lyptus relief of a Hall's cough drop. 

I did manage to get a lot of things done around the house despite my worn out state and can't wait to roast the turkey legs sitting my my fridge with avocado oil, salt & chipotle spice rub soaking into the skin.

Just have to get through these remaining six hours of work first... 



Lunch-
Pork Chop w/Roasted Cauliflower & Cucumber

Dinner-
Roasted Turkey Legs w/Smashed Sweet Potatoes & Green Beans



Ramble On...

Whole30 Day 22 That was the torture talking. Remember the torture?

Today is a good day. My cold is getting better and, though I'm am still coughing, the coughs are productive in clearing my chest congestion.

I am very grateful to whatever force inspired me to make chicken broth last month because it is the only thing that soothes my sore throat. Tea helps too, but too much tea makes me hyper, and the herbal stuff makes my stomach hurt.

Another reason to be thankful is that my workload is steady. I have a lot of work to do, but it is all "do at your own pace" kind of stuff. I can keep distracted without adding stress to my list of ailments.

It is day 22 and I now have a little over one week until this Whole30 is complete. I'm so proud of myself for holding on all through this cold. I did have orange juice, but I think the exception is okay in my case.

I'm getting better everyday. :)




Lunch-
Grilled Chicken Salad w/Bacon

Dinner-
Herb Crusted Skirt Steak w/Roasted Potatoes & Carrots



Ramble On...

Whole30 Day 21 I guess they got hungry again.

Even though I am sick and only want sleep, I am staying as positive as I can. 

It helps that I am now noticing body composition changes; like the love handles on my back being nearly gone, and my stomach flattening out again. 

My jeans fit better, I feel better... and taller... 

I want to keep this up as long as possible so, when my 30 days are up, I think I'll just keep going. 

No kicking myself when an event comes around that causes a lapse in food judgement, or when a craving overtakes my logical mind... 

This is the way it should be. If I can let go of my emotional connection to wanting bad foods, I can let go of my self punishing attitude when things don't go as planned, as well...


Is this making sense? I sure could use a nap right about now...


Lunch-
It's a grab bag kind of lunch made of little bits of leftovers: 
Grilled Chicken & Steak w/Roasted Squash & Mashed Potatoes

Dinner-
Fajita Chicken w/Salsa & Guacamole




Ramble On...