Day 5: Getting Full

Yesterday was great...
I had 3 clementines for breakfast and was full. I was too busy and not at all hungry at lunch time. For dinner I chopped and roasted two medium red skin potatoes with a little bit of olive oil and a Tuscan seasoning blend I had. It was satisfying and delicious. I'm getting fuller on less food. I think this means my stomach is shrinking back to normal size. I like it!

If it weren't for the smell of the potatoes roasting in my toaster oven, I don't know that I could have made it through making the creamy chicken and pasta casserole for the warming center without grabbing a few "tastes". The casserole smelled really good too, but I was super careful not to lick my fingers or the spoons.

I only know one way to be sure that pasta is cooked, though... and I bit into one of the penne tubes with my front teeth and spit the bite out into the garbage. I'm serious about this challenge and I don't want to get the carb train rolling out of the station just yet.

The mental craving cycle is beginning to break. Yesterday was full of thoughts of Doritos. At the grocery store, while buying the ingredients for the casserole, I noticed how much the low nutrient/high fat foods are marketed over healthier, tastier options. It makes me mad because, even though the choice to by is ultimately mine, I feel preyed upon by large companies selling bags of garbage to fatten their wallets and us. I wonder if weight loss companies are connected to the food makers somehow. It wouldn't shock me if Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig paid for Frito Lay's advertising.

Today is more of the same; Phase one of the Daniel Fast (fruits and veggies only) and tons of water. So far I'm 1,543 calories under my weekly budget of 7,700 and feeling good. Tonight's physical activity is giving haircuts to the homeless folks at the warming center... it's tougher than you think. :)

Day 4: I Have To Cook

Pilates was awesome and actually helped me to get that final stretch in my legs making it possible to walk like a fully developed human again. My raw food day went well too, but I lost my mind around 8pm and made a bag of low fat microwave popcorn... Popcorn seems to be my weakness lately. Only 220 calories, but still, not planned.

The cravings I'm having are annoying, to say the least. I think I read somewhere that the body's addiction to the chemicals in processed foods should be broken by 72 hours after ending consumption of the garbage... but I believe it's going to take longer to break the mental addiction to Doritos and cheese dip.

Tonight I have to make a casserole for a dinner my church is hosting at a warming shelter in Ferndale. I'm not looking forward to having to cook and cube chicken and make a creamy sauce when I won't be able to have any of it. My plan for my dinner is roasted potatoes and sauteed mushrooms and onions so, hopefully, the consolation dinner will be enough to make up for smelling the Parmesan cheese on the casserole as it's baking.

I'm happy with my efforts so far, but I'm starting to think the same defeating thoughts that got me up to 218Lbs and I'm getting scared. My mantra lately has been "What do I want to love more, food or my body?"

Week one's meal plan (Fruits and Vegetables only) is more than halfway done and I'll be incorporating beans and legumes into my diet next week.

This isn't easy and it's only getting harder, but it helps to know that I have this blog to come to and that someday I might actually have people who read it. :)

Day 2: Sore and Satisfied

This morning I woke up, still sore from the Jillian Michaels workout I did on Sunday afternoon... I'm not sure if I didn't stretch enough or if I was just way too out of shape for the Beginners Level 1 on the 30 Day Shred video, but I'm feeling pretty shredded and not in the good way.

Needless to say, I won't be working out today... I'm waiting for my torn muscles to heal before damaging them anymore.

Yesterday's meal plan went rather well with the intention of fasting for 24 hours being a success. From 6pm Sunday to 6pm on Monday I drank only water. At 6 on Monday I had a salad with lots of veggies and a fantastic olive oil and garlic dressing. I also broiled some zuchinni and summer squash with a little bit of spray oil and salt and pepper. I was satisfied by the time I finished my salad and was comfortably full after the squash. A few cravings hit after breaking my fast, but determination kept me in check.

For the record, I don't recommend anyone fast without consulting their doctor. The fact is that at 218 lbs I am not putting my body at risk if I choose to fast for a day or two. I've got a lot of stored energy my body can use and I believe fasting to be a biblical and spiritual event. So no worries, I'm no where near anorexia and have no intention of becomming skeletal, I just want to be able to run and wear skirts without my thighs falling apart... probably don't want to do both at the same time, but you get the idea. :)

As for today's meal plan. I'm going to try a consistant approach. I'm having some apples for breakfast, a nice salad with lot's of veggies for lunch and sliced avocado and tomatoes for dinner. I anticipate my physical hunger to be nonexistant, but my mental cravings to be off the charts... Wish me luck!