After a less than awesome weekend, I felt that I was in need of a hot bath and a good cry last night... Instead I stayed up too late making pasta... (The rule is: If I want pasta for dinner I must make it myself.)
A lot of things are up in the air right now and I just want to feel my feet on solid ground for more than a minute...The more personal side of life should level off soon, but I really want something to be constant and unchanging... huh... I just answered my own unasked question... I need to get my butt back in church... Jesus is the epitome of constant and unchanging.
Quick digression: why, when you're upset and feeling lost, do people think it helps to say "everyone has problems" to comfort you? The high probability that everyone goes through tough times pretty regularly is not comforting at all, because I'm not everyone... for all I know the other people in my life are just in my head and I'm actually strapped to a chair somewhere in a space castle while more advanced beings watch my hallucinations projected on a screen like prime-time TV. TNT Mel Knows Drama... Well, that was a much longer and much weirder digression than I intended... oops!
In good news, it has been almost a month into 2015 and I have stuck to my "Cooking Monday through Friday" guns. I'm really loving this... I'm making tons of new recipes and learning a lot of new cuisines and techniques. Tonight is Thai; Pad See Ew (not yucky like the name suggests... it means "cooked in soy sauce") with fresh, homemade noodles!
Boot camp finally came around to my biggest fear... and the deadlifts I was so afraid of were stupid easy. This is probably because my only muscles happen to be the giant ones in my legs... At any rate, the girls in my group were shaking like little chihuahuas in the snow as they lifted, but they said I lifted the 95 lb bar like it was a feather.
I really like the strength part of boot camp. Now I just need to figure out how to breathe better so I don't feel like passing out during cardio. I'm making incremental progress and think I am still on track to add Friday's class by April or sooner.
The best part of all of my struggles to stick to the plan is that it is working without feeling like much work. My clothes are starting to fit better, I feel stronger, and I don't feel like I'm missing any of my favorite flavors and textures in my meals. I even had pizza over the weekend and anyone that knows Detroit style pizza knows there's no healthy way to make the doughy, cheesy, greasy goodness. I had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast in the morning and saved my stomach real estate for a ton of salad and a piece and a half of the deliciousness that is Buddy's Margherita pizza and that was brunch... Since that was pretty filling, dinner was a little piece of veal from Saturday's leftovers. Normally I would have loaded on eggs, bacon & potatoes for breakfast, eaten pizza until I burst for lunch, and then forced another full meal down for dinner. Being more aware of my hunger signals and going into the war zone restaurant with a game plan helped a lot.
Hooray for small, sustainable, permanent changes, ya'll!
Ramble On,
Melissa
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