There is an entire society going on in my head... possibly closer to a global political structure. I have a group of sub-personalities deciding on, and implementing, policies to create an ideal environment of existence and a small, but persistent faction working against being told what to do in favor of complete freedom without regard to consequence.I would say I have my very own Israel and Palestine, but that's a bit severe and there actually is a side that is 100% right in my head (the left side, ha ha). I can say, at least, that the unconscious struggle resembles an average city council meeting. No way to please everyone, so everyone is equally disappointed... I feel like this is so freaking stupid, but I also feel like I am not alone in this analogy.
Each year, many of us make, and just as easily break, resolutions for a healthier lifestyle. Many of us make sweeping and unrealistic declarations of all of the changes we will make with no plan or understanding of the limited amount of willpower we are afforded in a day, week, month or year. Never have I, personally, been successful at keeping a single resolution, mainly because I have always made so many of them at once, and also because I didn't understand how change actually works. My conscious gets confused by all of the rules and my subconscious (the small faction that fights my logical side for freedom from structure) gets to creep in and slowly slide all the pieces back to where they were.
So, for real change, what can we do? I can't get behind the "small, lasting changes" idea enough. Beginning an initiative by saying, "I can't eat fast food ever again" or, "I have to workout 7 times a week" almost certainly will end in failure before you know it. What I am finding effective is saying something more like this, "I would like to feel better about what I eat so, if I must eat fast food in the next year, I could have Wendy's or Taco Bell, but only one item and don't be an idiot" and, "I would like to be stronger, so I will go to Boot Camp class every Monday until I can get all the way through without being cripplingly sore for days afterward." (For the workout resolution, there is room to grow. I can add Friday's class after I can get a grip on a once a week plan, then go on Wednesday too once I've got Friday's under control too. There is no "have to" involved.)
The small changes I have made, so far, have been working. I am making nearly all Breakfasts, Lunches, and Dinners Monday - Friday and am keeping my whits about me when I go out to eat. If I order something less healthy, I consciously eat less than I normally would unconsciously. I always need a box now, and that's serious progress for me. Also, I am choosing to take part in conversation over putting more food in my face, so that's helping too. The workout plan is going to take some time. I have been getting dizzy and losing my breath the last few times I have gone. I know it will get better when there is literally less of me to move around and I am going to make sure I eat an apple on the way to class from now on to see if a little healthy carbohydrate boost will help keep the spins at bay.
I have a long way to go... very long, but my logical side is still the boss and the scale is showing that small, lasting changes are an effective way to reach my goals.
Now, I need to stop buying so many new clothes before I make my tailor a millionaire!
Ramble On,
Mel
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